What I've Been Making

Wanting to have a healthier, less expensive lifestyle, I have been trying some new things.

I started making kombucha again.  The continuous brew kind.  Way easier than one batch at a time.  Especially since Josh and Ellie will drink it now.  They like a fruity flavor.  Me too.

I bought yogurt and hung it in cheese cloth.  Why?  To separate out the whey, making a cream cheese of sorts.  And to have whey.

The one jar has elderberry syrup.  The other has milk kefir.

My snack bars, made with dates, raisins, almonds, chocolate and chia seeds, are in the container.

Here is the whey and cheese.  In the background, 

in the bowls are plantain and thyme Josh picked from our yard.  I picked more plantain and made a healing salve.

My beet kvass is in the pitcher, made by putting beets in water with whey, to ferment for a couple days.

The white stuff is my homemade marshmallows.

In the small jar is kombucha, sitting for some extra fizziness.

My beef jerky, made with my mesquite seasoning mix. 

A new recipe I tried.  Homemade coconut flour breaded cod, roasted sweet potatoes, salad with homemade ranch dressing.

I have decided to make my own salad dressings again.  And condiments- ketchup and BBQ sauce.  Next might be mayo and mustard.

We've been trying out some home remedies for Josh's warts.  Dandelion, chickweed, banana skin, tea tree oil, lemon oil, propolis, and clay.  We are currently on the oils, since they are the easiest to apply, coat the warts, and leave his hands free to use without using a bunch of Band-aids or waiting for it to dry.

It isn't a secret that my legs look awful, what with all the spider and varicose veins I have.  I decided to try a vein cream and liniment, before going the chemical dissolving route. 

P.S. I hate compression stocking. 

This is my homemade toothpaste.

It is still a work in progress.

I have another recipe to try.

Josh's grain-free train cake, and plant based colored icing.  The icing I made with cane sugar that I powdered.

And natural candy decor.

We have vanilla beans and vodka waiting to become vanilla extract.

I have also made my own shampoo and lotion, both works in progress.  The shampoo dried out my hair too much and the lotion was too hard.  I haven't looked into how to adjust the shampoo yet, but to make the lotion more soft, I need to remelt it and add more coconut oil.  I did one remelt, but it still isn't as creamy as I'd like it.

With the elderberry syrup, I made elderberry gummies (which are more jellied then I would like,) and vitamin gummies, where I added to much vitamins and didn't turn out right. 

I am making yogurt again, though I still have to get it less runny.  I can then use it to make my soft cheese and whey.  And all I have to buy is a gallon of milk.  So if I am doing the math right, I spend $3.50 (or whatever the price of whole milk is) and get 3 quarts of yogurt, about a pint of whey, and maybe a pint soft cheese.  Pretty good use of $3.50, huh?

I have made my own chocolate, another recipe I need to tweak next time I make it.  A little less honey and add a little milk, I think.

I am trying to decrease the amount of grains and legumes we eat.  And if we eat grains and legumes, I want them to be soaked or sprouted.  

I am trying to use more coconut products, non-grain flours, and healthy fats.  Follow more of the paleo diet, but not strictly.

I am slowly resuppling our vitamins and supplements - probiotics (though the kombucha and water kefir help with that,) vitamin D and C, fish oil (I want to actually take fermented cod liver oil, but I not sure I am ready for that yet, since it's a gel.)  And then we need to remember to take them.

I made beef bone broth, but I plan to make chicken bone broth next.  I have some bones waiting in the freezer.  It takes half the time and I think I'd like it better.

I want to figure out how to incorporate organ meats into our diet, without opposition.  I haven't eaten organ meats before, that I can remember, and the thought doesn't sit well with me.  But they may be tasty.  I have a frozen liver waiting to become pate, but I haven't been brave enough to try it yet.

I am trying to buy some produce organic if it is on the dirty dozen list, and buy grass-fed beef.  Pastured pork and chicken isn't as economical.  Though I am wanting to buy whole chickens more than bags of chicken breasts. 

I probably missed something, and it doesn't end here.  There is always something I find I want to try. 

Cherry Pie

Yesterday, my girl stood and pitted 6 cups of cherries.  A bit ago, Gary mentioned that he wouldn't mind having cherry pie. 

Normally, I make my cherry pies using pie filling from a can, to avoid the tediousness of pitting cherries.  But with moving towards eating real food, I decided I should use the actual fruit, not from a can.  Especially with cherries being in season right now.  So while at the store on Monday, we bought some cherries. 

But still the work of pitting cherries was hindering my moving forward with pie making.

When I reminded Ellie that we still had a pie to make, she got out a cutting board and knife and started pitting.  And stuck with it until we had enough. 

It was a juicy job, and Ellie got a little creative. (It's on her face.  You can kind of see it.)

I don't know how many times I wiped up cherry juice from all around her.

But she did not complain.  She did not stop.  She keep at it. 

And when Ellie bakes, she celebrates!  This is Gary's early birthday pie.

We had candles and sang "Happy Birthday."

Help is on the way

Ellie has qualified for Medical Assistance.  I don't like having to apply for it.  We don't need help, since we already have insurance for her.  But she would really benefit from Wrap Around services.  And one can only acquire Wrap Around services through Medical Assistance.

We had our intake interview for Ellie at Indian Creek Foundation yesterday. The lady asked us questions for nearly two hours.  Questions we've answered for numerous people, many times.

She did ask a new one.  What are our goals for Ellie to work on?

She also asked a question, which both Gary and I found hard to answer, and ashamed and guilty we found it hard to answer.  So much so, that I won't even write it here.  It brings me to tears to know it's hard to answer.

I continue to struggle with this diagnosis.  I hear a little voice in my head (very loudly) saying, "You don't need help for Ellie, because she doesn't have a problem.  You just aren't doing the right things.  Lots of other kids have the same problems and don't need help.  If you would just . . ."

It might help if we heard from people around us that this diagnosis is fitting, instead of just not really saying anything and nodding their heads, like what people do when they want to be polite, but they don't really agree with you.  We even had someone tell us that they know someone with ADHD, and he doesn't act like Ellie.  Not sure about his point and not very helpful.  At all.  Not every kid who has ADHD acts the same.

I think part of my issue is how can a stranger sit with my family for an hour or two, ask us questions, look at one questionnaire each, Gary and I and her teacher filled out, and decide such diagnoses for my child?  It seems that it would take several visits, in different settings, and several questionnaires from many people in Ellie's life to decide such things.  And some tests.  I don't know . . . I'm obviously not a psychologist.

Another issue is that...no.  There are no more issues.  It's that stupid voice in my head.  Doubt. Doubt.  Doubt.  I want the voice to shut up, be drowned out by all the other voices (family, friends, professionals) loudly telling me that this is good.  Getting help is needed, not because we are failures, but because she needs more than we have.  She needs help from outside of us, our family.  We need help as a family. 

I can write Ellie has ADHD and ODD.  I still say she's been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD.  To me, there's a difference: "has" and "been diagnosed with."

Regardless, help is on the way.

14 Years

Fourteen years ago Gary and I were married.

This year we celebrated at Ricketts Glen State Park.



 The park office.

 The beginning of Falls Trail. 

Gary hurt his ankle at the beginning of our hike.

Lake Leigh

The dam for Lake Leigh.

As you can see, the dam is breaking apart (you should not be able to look through a dam) and no longer functioning to really hold back water.  According to civil engineer Gary Kulp, this is call a dam breech.  I would call it the dam breaking apart and not working.  The lake is now a small pond.  The photo to the left shows the intended outlet for the lake, in the shadow at the bottom between the two supports.  It is no longer needed due to the "dam breech."










Here is a map for Falls Trail.  We started at the upper right where it says "Beach Area Parking" and hiked to the dam, then down to Ozone Falls, and then back to the parking area.  

Gary likes the periwinkle 

growing atop Shawnee Falls.

F.L. Ricketts Falls.

We decided to work our arm muscles next and went canoeing.





We saw a beaver lodge.  

Lake Jean.

For our last stop at the park, we ate our lunch on a moss covered table.

And saw parts of Kitchen Creek ...

and the top of Adams Falls.

Here is our "cabin."  When we arrived on Saturday night, the office was closed.  We had no cell service to call, and we weren't sure what to do.  We went back to the highway where we had service and was able to leave a message.  We drove to another campground, which was full, then tried another.  They had an RV that we could rent, which we were not all that excited about.  Thankfully we had service long enough to receive a call from our campground and were able to go back and check in. 

Gary was NOT impressed, but I thought it wasn't that bad. 

It did have a water issue.  It smelled like sulfur or something else very unpleasant.

We will not be going back to any of the campgrounds we saw.

We will make plans in time to reserve something at the state park.

To sum up, we had a very memorable anniversary weekend!

A lament

This post was started in November.  I am finally finishing it.
 ~~~
During my Bible study, we have been looking as some laments.  Psalm 6 was the latest one.   

¹ O Lord, do not rebuke me in Your anger,
Nor chasten me in Your wrath.
² Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am pining away;
Heal me, O Lord, for my bones are dismayed.
³ And my soul is greatly dismayed;
But You, O Lord—how long?

⁴ Return, O Lord, rescue my soul;
Save me because of Your lovingkindness.
⁵ For there is no mention of You in death;
In Sheol who will give You thanks?

⁶ I am weary with my sighing;
Every night I make my bed swim,
I dissolve my couch with my tears.
⁷ My eye has wasted away with grief;
It has become old because of all my adversaries.

⁸ Depart from me, all you who do iniquity,
For the Lord has heard the voice of my weeping.
⁹ The Lord has heard my supplication,
The Lord receives my prayer.
¹⁰ All my enemies will be ashamed and greatly dismayed;
They shall turn back, they will suddenly be ashamed.

In the last portion of our study, we had a chance to write our own lament.  Here is mine.

LORD, where are you?
  I do not hear you.
You are everywhere,
  Yet my soul knows silence.
Countless are my advarsaries,
  Their numbers are untold.
Great and mighty is the Lord, my God.
  He has caused the earth's bounty.

I feel abandoned,
  Left alone to myself.
All I accomplish is laid to waste,
  My work is a pile of rubbish.
I am made to wait.
  How long, Lord, how long?
I am weary and tired.
  I know no rest.
On and on I trod,
  And find myself in circles.
Is this all you have for me?
  Is there no more?

I know you have a plan,
  There is still good here.
Hear my cry, Lord God,
  Give me the desires of my heart.
For you always I long for,
  You are my hiding place.
You bring me to you,
  You are my rest.

Wealth of Information

Just yesterday I came across this site, Wellness Mama.

Like I said, wealth of information for healthy living.  Health is something I'm into.

Check it out.

Again with the doubts

Books like this one, are not helping my doubts.  I will be checking it out of the library today and pouring through it.

I wonder if there is one on ODD.

Is it a Diagnosis?

Ellie has been diagnosed with ADHD - inattentive type and ODD.  I am sure you recognize the first acronym, but maybe not the second.  Oppositional Defiant Disorder.



We finally have an answer for why.  Why we have had all these struggles.

But yet I struggle with these diagnoses.  I am afraid of being judged . . . that she doesn't really have these problems, that her parents just aren't good enough parents.  If they could just manage her better, she would not have these problems.  That they are just trendy letters for problems that don't really exist.

Because she's not the only child who pops up and down.  Other kids tell their parents "No!" before they can even think.  My girl isn't the only one who has trouble focusing to get ready in the morning or at bed or to sit down to eat or to do anything.  Other kids get distracted too.  Other siblings pick on their brothers.
Then I think that these things happen a lot in our family.  Multiple times a day or even an hour, all day.  Every day.  It is tiring.  It is draining.

I am not in other people's homes, so I don't really know the frequency, duration or extent at which other families face these things.  When I observe other families, whom I see on a regular basis, I do not see what we experience with Ellie.

I know how often we face these struggles.  I know her issues are not because of what we have or have not done.  It just does not always feel that way.   I also know that how we handle each situation affects how things go.

Things are different for us.

So, yes it is a diagnosis.  She does have ADHD, and she does have ODD.  And we are getting help.

So Much

Things are happening.  What to say.   I have thoughts running through my head.  I can't organize them enough to put them here.  Or when I do start typing, I end up abandoning my words and finding something else to do.

But I will try again.

The Man Who Walks Beside Me

Here is the man I love.  After 13 years, it still amazes me that we can be so different and yet complete each other so well.  Together, we walk this road of life. 

Even if he is a bit goofy.

I am used to it.  I might possibly be a bit of a goof myself.  I do come from a long line of goofs.  On both sides.

And look what God used us to make!  Aren't they just awesome!

Now together we are on a different kind of road.  This was first his dream, but it has become important to me as well. 

P.S. Should have been posted July 26, 2013.  But Valentine's Day works too!

Love you, Hon!

Where to begin?

Last week I had a birthday.  And opened our store.  It has been a lot of work to get the store ready to open.  It isn't even all the way ready yet.  I guess it will not ever be "ready."  There will always be something to do.  But it is open for business.

Today we had bunches of snow.  Kids had off.  They built a fort, complete with a slide and umbrellas, out front with their neighborhood friends.  It is quite impressive.  Josh also rolled three giant snowballs.  It took both Gary and me to lift the two onto the other to make a giant snowman.  Another impressive snow creation.


Today was my cooking day.  Even with the kids home from school (they were actually outside playing for much of) I managed to make chicken farro soup, chicken Devan, macaroni and cheese, and mayonnaise, and fold several baskets of laundry.  The extra cooking is for while I am away with my mom, visiting my bestest friend.  My dad and Gary are playing Mr. Mom.  I wanted to make things easier, so I made most of three dinners for them.  The kids clothes are all washed and mostly all folded.  Lunches will be bought at school.  Hopefully the weather will cooperate and we can leave after the kids go to school Wednesday. 

Tomorrow I get to figure out how to juggle the kids (two hour delay,) the store (opens before the two hour delay,) an appointment (now same time as school opening,) getting the car wipers fixed (didn't like the heavy snow,) and make it to the library (books on tape for drive to Indiana.) 

Good times.

The Philadelphia Zoo . . . in November.

On one of the kids' days off, we took advantage of out membership to the zoo.

Still blooming.  Beautiful.

Still smiling. Precious.

I love the knobby legs.

I made sure to see the primates.  Missed getting a photo of a new mother gibbon swinging around with her tiny baby holding on to her belly.  But I got this guy having an afternoon snack.

This guy's back end looked a lot like its front end.  When it started walking, I half expected to see eyes on both ends.

Isn't it a bit disturbing? 
(This is a photo I found on the internet.)  

Ellie is posing with an alligator snapping turtle.  She waited and waited for it to snap.  She was disappointed.  

A green frog.  Always need a photo of a frog.

Here's Klondike.  She finally was out after our third trip past her enclosure.

Pay attention.  You might need to be able to identify a cat at some point.

Costumes

I made the munchkins costumes this year.

Ellie's from a bed skirt . . .

 and Josh's from a fleece throw, with a little help from a hoodie and sweat pants.

They are a dragon and a queen turned into bride.

Yard Work and Family Fun

We did some yard work today.  I tackled the compost pile.  It was big enough for the whole block.  I downsized it by half.  It is still bigger than we need.  But it is very much more tidy now. 



I also trimmed up the butterfly bush, because we plan to move the plastic bin thing to the adjacent fence on the left. 

Here you can see the trimmings from the bush laying in the dirt where part of the compost pile used to be.

The white picket fence still needs to be cut to fit around the compost area.

Gary mowed the front yard, dug out a tree trunk and pulled out all the dying pepper and tomato plants, after harvesting the last of the crop. He has asked me several  times to remind him next year we do not need four hot pepper plants.

Josh helped me some and pulled off a lot of the vine from the fence behind the plastic bin. 

Ellie brought us a snack and made brownies.

And after all the work was done, we played.  Josh requested dodge ball.  We also had some spin around and get the kids dizzy time, lay on the ground and flip the kids over my head time, and three-legged race time.

Then we went out for dinner.  Kulp's Spices treated us for all our hard work at the market.

It was a great family day. 

Declares the LORD.

In my Bible study of the Psalms, we looked at Psalm 137.

¹By the waters of Babylon,
    there we sat down and wept,
    when we remembered Zion.
² On the willows there
    we hung up our lyres.
³ For there our captors
    required of us songs,
and our tormentors, mirth, saying,
    “Sing us one of the songs of Zion!”

⁴ How shall we sing the Lord's song
    in a foreign land?
⁵ If I forget you, O Jerusalem,
    let my right hand forget its skill!
⁶ Let my tongue stick to the roof of my mouth,
    if I do not remember you,
if I do not set Jerusalem
    above my highest joy! 
⁷ Remember, O Lord, against the Edomites
    the day of Jerusalem,
how they said, “Lay it bare, lay it bare,
    down to its foundations!”
⁸ O daughter of Babylon, doomed to be destroyed,
    blessed shall he be who repays you
    with what you have done to us!
⁹ Blessed shall he be who takes your little ones
    and dashes them against the rock!

We discussed the questions and observations we had.  Clearly, the Psalmist is in great distress.  He has been captured and taken to a foreign land.  He wants justice for those who have done this.

This psalm was written after Jerusalem was destroyed and the people were taken into captivity by the Babylonians in 586 B.C.  The people of Jerusalem were warned, repeatedly, by the prophets, especially Jeremiah, to repent of their Godlessness.  All throughout the book of Jeremiah, the prophet speaks God's words, mostly telling Israel to repent and what will happen if they do not.  And they do not repent.  And Babylon destroys and takes into exile the people of Jerusalem.

But starting in Jeremiah 29 God reveals His plan.   

Jeremiah 29:1 (NIV)  These are the words of the letter that Jeremiah the prophet sent from Jerusalem to the surviving elders of the exiles, and to the priests, the prophets, and all the people, whom Nebuchadnezzar had taken into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon.

God told the Israelites to live in this new land.  In a way, God answered the Psalmist.  He said to start families, to seek the welfare of the city.  To prosper.  I suggest reading all of Jeremiah 29.  And even more.

Jeremiah 29:10-14 (NIV)  This is what the Lord says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place.  For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

Back to the psalm.  God wants us to come to Him with all our feelings, not just the good ones.  He wants to hear us cry out in our pain, anger, shame, distress.  The psalm is the anguished cry of a heart torn out of his home.  It might even have been an unrepentant heart at the time or one turning back to God.  

There are myriad psalms of anguished crying out to God.  They are the prayers we ourselves can pray.

This psalm also brought up these questions for me.  How am I to be with my children?  Do I let them pour out their feelings to me?  Or do I stifle it?   I want them to feel free to be real with me.  Gary and I are their safe place.  We love them no matter what.  We want them to prosper, to have a hope and a future.

A Treasure Hunt

First, you take a plain piece of paper.
Mine looked like parchment.
 
Than you draw a map.
I used parts of the house and transformed them for on the map.  The couch and chair became hills.  The stairs became mountains.  The bedrooms were caves.

Crinkle it up.
I balled it up with my hands.

Burn it.
I used our clicker and burned it at spots along the edges and made holes around the middle section.

Write a poem about the map on the back.
In your hand you hold a map.
Beware it may lead to a trap!
It will guide you to and fro,
Follow it well, where you go.

Roll it up and tie it.
I carefully rolled it and tied it with natural raffia (I had to look it up too.)

Hide it.
I chose to stash it on the header of a basement window in the darkest section of the basement.  Then I told them a story about how sometimes you can find treasure maps in old houses.  Usually in basements.  I asked them where they thought a map might be hidden.  I suggested to look in the joists, in the darker places.

Then you set the kids free to find the map and treasure.  Josh was very animated.  They both questioned me numerous times about the age of the map.

Ellie is drinking from her treasure.  A collapsible cup, with pill container that contained two quarters, which broke before she even got to hold it.  Josh accidentally dropped it on the hardwood floor.  I think glue will make it good as new.