Updates

We have never had such a gush of soap from our dispenser as we have now with having replaced the inside parts. Watch out dishes!

I believe I have found an adequate deodorant. It is a liquid crystal roll-on. I could do without the wet application, but it does fairly well at odor protection. My next foray into more natural is shampoo and not washing my hair as often. I have heard it is better for hair to not be washed every day. Although I wash it every other day, I might try longer between washings.

We received adoption information today from Bethany Christian Services. We are researching information about adoption with no plans to move forward in the near future.

Ellie has announced she will be a doctor when she grows up. She has already practiced many times on Gary and me and enjoys being practiced upon. She is a firm believer in many shots.

This is My Word

Our choir is singing Pepper Choplin's This is My Word. I believe it is one of my favorite anthems.




This is My Word

As the snow falls from heaven,
As it comes in swirling showers from the sky,
So is my Word.
As the rains bring the water to the earth that is thirsty and dry,
So is my Word.
And the Word of my mouth, it shall not return empty:
It will bless the earth wherever it is heard.
This is my Word.

As the rain brings renewal
And the tender buds begin to come alive,
So is my Word.
Giving seed to the sower,
And the bread to the hungry 'til they thrive,
So is my Word.
And the Word of my mouth, it shall not return empty;
It will bless the earth wherever it is heard.
This is my Word.

O Lord, when I am weary,
When I feel the days I'm living are in vain,
My God, help me be faithful to the Word You have given to proclaim.
Proclaim the Word, and you will go out in joy,
And be led forth in peace,
And the hills will break before you into song.
So be faithful, brave and true,
For I will go before you,
And when your earthly journey here is done.
I'll say well done, well done!

As the snow falls from heaven,
And the rain comes in showers from the sky,
This is my Word.

The Flower Show

We had a lovely day today. It was our excursion to the flower show at the Philadelphia Convention Center. My parents, the kids and I drove down to the city, found a very expensive parking garage to park in, and walked to the convention center. We waited in the lobby for my sister to finish at her internship. We walked to the Reading Terminal Market for supper, drove my sister home and drove ourselves home. It was a fun day!

Your minds are begging the question: "When did we get to the flower show?" A very good question, indeed. The answer is we didn't. The fellow who was giving my sister the tickets, never managed to actually get them to her.

Yesterday, it was the snow and school cancellations, today it was a broken down car. So for over two hours we sat in the convention center's lobby waiting for the tickets. We finally realized getting the tickets wasn't going to happen, so we just waited for Jess. Entertaining the children for that long was a feat in itself. I think we and the kids did a fantastic job.














I did however get some pictures of the pansies in the planter outside the convention center. I got to see some flowers, at least.

Visit with Myrtle Bernice

My dear friend P has nicknamed me Bettina Matilda. Why? I don't know. I decided she needed one too. I had come up with George, but that one didn't seem right. So I used the same initials as my nickname. And came up with Bernice Myrtle. However Myrtle Bernice flowed better, so that is what has stuck. And more importantly, she approves.

After the seminar, Gary took a train back home, while I drove to Myrtle's house. We had a slumber party. Though we actually didn't achieve much slumber. We drug our selves off to bed around the time I usually get up. But there were no children pining for attention, so it wasn't so bad. Though if you ask my body, I think it would object to it's bedtime.

We did however manage to slip in much game playing and FarScape. I think we both allowed a fair amount of wins and losses. We also had some good talk time.

And as much as Myrtle wanted the snow to keep me there, I was able to get home Sunday night. With me came Myrtle's former laptop, which I am typing on currently, and one of her former cameras. She updated her electronics, and she graciously passed them on to me. I am greatly appreciative. She also acquired a web cam for our use. Now we can watch while one of us slaughters the other in scrabble.

The Heart

This past weekend Gary and I went to a Shepherding a Child's Heart seminar. We found it to be very helpful in raising our children. I find it overwhelming to try to put to computer blog what I learned, save for that if you want your child's behavior to change, look at what's in his heart. You will probably find foolishness. And read these scripture verses: Proverbs 4:23, Proverbs 22:15, Proverbs 23:13-14, Proverbs 29:15, Matthew 12:34b. And teach your children godly attitudes, some of which include: entrusting to God, humility, love for others, generosity, peace-making, and submission. And watch for idols of the heart - power, pride, possessions, to name some. We are currently teaching Ellie and Josh this passage: Ephesians 6:1-3.

If you truly want to learn what we have, I suggest these books: Shepherding a Child's Heart and Instructing a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp, Don't Make me Count to Three by Ginger Plowman, and the Bible. The Bible holds so much instruction to help you train up your child in the way that he should go - God's way. If you train your child other than God's way, he just might turn from it when he is older.

Thank you Jocelyn for telling me about these books. They have shown me how to use the Word God has given us.

Oh, one more thing. You must have your heart in the right place in order to train your child's heart. You must be dazzled by God, to dazzle your kids.

For Free

Our faucet system has a soap dispenser. It is my opinion that it never worked properly since we have been using it. And it has gotten worse. This past week it started not pumping soap. A task I felt it should accomplish since it is a soap dispenser. I got quite annoyed at it and pumped it a mite too hard many times. I managed to break the inside plastic part. So now it really won't pump.

I found the paperwork left by the previous owner and read that the lifetime warranty was only effective for the original purchaser. I looked up on Moen's website for a replacement dispenser and discovered a new one would cost $41.00, a price I am not willing to pay. I then called Moen to see if I could purchase just the plastic part that broke. The very helpful man at Moen took my mailing information and asked what the problem was. I was forth coming about the tragic ending of my soap dispenser, but he still said he would send a new one out right away. I thanked him and felt inclined not to remind him that I was not the original owner, nor that even though it wouldn't pump, I am the cause of it being in more pieces than originally designed.

Either way I am hopefully the recipient of a new soap dispenser, though I need to wait several weeks for its arrival.

I wonder why things happen, but I know God is sovereign

Although I don't always know why things happen, I know God has a plan. And for now, His plan is for us to only have two children. My hormone level dropped significantly. I was told to go for more blood work until my numbers are back to zero.

My plan has always been to have more than two children. Maybe I still will, somehow. But right now it hurts, and I grieve to know that this my child was carried for such a short time, and that she was my last. I also feel selfish in that I'd like a third child, while some women do not even have one child to love.

“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:11-13

The Cabin

We went to the cabin this weekend. The plan was to leave Friday night after a dinner party. Well, the dinner went far later than we planned, and my lower back and hips (a new symptom with this pregnancy) were aching me. There was no way I could sit for another two hours in the car, and we were both tired. So we went to bed and left after breakfast on Saturday.

We had a great time. According to Josh, we saw Bambi's Da-da. Many of them in fact, though all actually does. And Ellie. My sweet, sweet girl. She saw chickens out her bedroom window (also known as wild turkeys.) She also discovered the electrodes in her electric blanket. She came out of her room to inform us that "there are things in my bed that I felt with my fingers. They're kind of like lip balm." These two discoveries were in the name of avoiding nap time.

We had our own dinner entertainment in the Lawerence Welk show. Ellie muted one man singing because "that man's mouth doesn't sing very well." But a lady received this reaction: "I want to hear this girl. She's pretty."

Gary had the privilege of discarding a dead mouse. We had two fires, but that round wood just doesn't care to burn. It needs to be split.

I was all set with videos and DVDs. But would you know that the VHS I brought had viewing issues, and that DVD player wouldn't release it's hold on the DVD deck? So there was no movie viewing. And we could have gotten in many a Stargate SG-1 episode, too.

Sunday night we all said goodbye to our little cabin and drove back home.

My Mom

My mom has lost her job. The pharmacy where she worked closed. Even though I know she needs to earn a paycheck for my parents' finances, I am enjoying the time she now has to come over.

A while back Mom had Fridays off, and we'd hang out and do stuff. Than her hours changed, and she had to work everyday. Now she can come over again during the day. Her last day was the 9th of February, and I got to see her every other day that week. It was fun to have her here. We've had lunch, I helped her apply for unemployment, we worked on her resume, she helped with Ellie and Josh, and just yesterday we started watching "Lie to Me" on hulu.com. Mom's coming again today to pick up Hunter so we don't have to take him to the cabin. I have it all ready to start up where we left off. [Shh . . . I already watched the ending, but I'll watch it again with her anyway.] I know eventually this will end, but I am enjoying time with my mom until than.

Rising Numbers

My hormone levels increased as they should. So I am on my way to a larger me.

I have already purchased my first "maternity" wear, 15 -20 firm support hose. If you didn't know, my legs ache, and I get spider veins and varicose veins during pregnancy. It was worse with Josh than with Ellie, so I am guessing that it will be even worse with this pregnancy. I have already been exhorted by P and Gary to put my legs up now and buy those stupid hose. Well, I can't promise anything, but I'll try to wear them regularly. When summer comes around, though, I do not know if I can handle support hose and humidity. I'll just have to sit around all summer with my feet up.

I got the call

I am pregnant! Thank you for all your prayers! Not just that I would become pregnant, but that we will trust in God's plan for us no matter what it is.

I have more blood work tomorrow and Friday. Hopefully my hormone numbers continue to increase. Two times ago I had a positive result (even though I was bleeding,) but the next blood work showed that the hormone levels dropped, and I wasn't pregnant anymore.

So pray that the levels keep increasing, and the baby keeps growing.

Ellie was very excited when I told her I had a baby in my belly and made it known many times thereafter. Josh really had no comment. I also asked them what we should name the baby. Ellie's response was Ella or Ellie, and Josh's response was cow. We won't be leaving it up to them to name our next child.

Still waiting

While waiting I remind myself of these verses:

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made know to God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4: 6-7

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29: 11-13

Ten Days

The last ten days have been filled with much praying. About our little embryo attaching itself and staying put for 40 weeks.

My emotions have gone high and low. Crying to laughing.

Today was the day to find out if the little guy stuck around. I have been nervous all day. Alas, no call was forthcoming from Abington. So I called them, they had not received my blood results yet. When the call did come, it was to find out that they sent my blood to Quest Diagnostics, and I'd have to wait until morning to learn if I am pregnant.

Let the waiting continue.

The embryo thawed just fine today, and the transfer went as planned. Now we just have to wait until next Monday for the blood test.

I get to just sit and rest and let Gary wait on me for two days.

I have time, but no where to go.

The kids and I have been ill for the past 5 days. It started with me on Saturday with an ever increasing sore throat and a cough, than weakness and a dazed feeling on Sunday. Josh had a cough on Sunday. And since then there have been fevers, coughing, and much tissue use amongst the three of us.

I've had five days of sick children at home all day. And guess what? Tomorrow promises to be another one, with Ellie going to bed with a fever. No school for her this week. Now, she wouldn't have had school on Wednesday anyway, though, because it was a snow day. But I couldn't even take them out to play in it.

Did I mention five days with sick kids and me inside? Let's see, we've watched Bambi (Josh's constant request) numerous times, The Lion King (another Josh favorite,) Tinkerbell, various Veggie Tales shows, an Elmo video on sharing, The Little Mermaid, Prince of Egypt, Curious George and Frog and Toad, Beauty and The Beast, Pooh's Grand Adventure, Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving and Christmas, Real Trains for Kids 2. There are probably more, but I think you get the idea. We have played some games and looked at books, but movie watching has been the main event.

One more day until reinforcement arrives. Grandparents are taking the kids for the weekend, while Gary and I go to Abington for our last IVF transfer attempt. We pray the transfer will take place. The embryo needs to survive thawing, than attach itself and grow. Then I need a positive pregnancy test 10 days later. That's the order of events.

Pray.

Happy Birthday to me

My mom made delicious meatloaf, baked potatoes and green beans for dinner tonight. Did I mention it was delicious? I really enjoy that meal. And to compliment the dinner, we had homemade carrot cake. Also delicious. I might possibly be indulging too much on said cake.

My mom watched the young ones, while Gary and I registered our older young one for kindergarten. Really, can my baby be old enough for kindergarten? It hardly seems possible. Next thing I know, she'll be turning 13, eying boys, getting her license, leaving for college, getting married, having her own babies, and sending them off to kindergarten. Where does the time go?

Oh, and it isn't just my birthday today. Amazingly Ellie's is today also. She tells me it's because she loves me. She apparently has a birthday whenever anyone else has one.

Facebook

I have a facebook page, if anyone is interested. I don't mind checking things out there every once in a while, but I am not going to be getting into all the things there. I am requested left and right to do this or that. Sorry people it isn't going to happen.

And why are people I hardly know asking to be my friend? Just because I knew your name in high school, doesn't mean we can be best buddies now. Maybe they are just curious about whom I am now. I don't know.

Hown grown produce - here we come!

In reading Claire's blog about getting ready for farming in '09, I have been thinking about our little plot of dirt. What should we grow, and how might we do it? Granted we have about a hundredth of the space that they have, probably even less, but I think we have enough space to grow what will meet our needs. If not, Dad grows an abundance.

I definitely need to maximize the small space we have. Maybe we'll have enough to can a jar or two of something.

Opera - love them or leave them.

Flipping through channels today, my eyes caught a program on PBS. It looked as though they were going to be showing an opera. I usually keep flipping, but the title was "The Barber of Seville." I stopped. It got my attention because in high school marching band we played music from that opera. I wanted to watch it.

For the next two hours I read and listened to the opera. It is the story of a Count who falls for a maiden who is kept locked inside her guardian's house. The barber (why a barber, I don't know) helps the Count rescue her, so they can live happily ever after. It was very well preformed. I liked the solo by the barber the best. I think it is the most known aria of the opera.

The thing about operas is that they sing the same words or phrases many times. In another language it isn't so bad. I imagine in English it would sound really silly. "I want to walk to the park, I need to walk to the park, need to walk, want to walk, need to walk to the park, to the park, to the park, the park. I want to walk to the park!"

Although Gary was napping for most of it, he had to endure the last 30 minutes. He is glad I don't care for all operas. At one point I left the room for just a moment, and he had muted it.

Another opera from which we played music is "The Marriage of Figaro." Interesting. I just looked up both operas, and "The Marriage of Figaro" is a sequel to "The Barber of Seville." And I found out why a barber is called to help win the lady. He used to be a servant in the guardian's house.

Well enough culture, back to cleaning the house.

Birthday Outing

I have been looking forward to today for over a week now. My mom took me clothes shopping for my birthday. Just me and my mom. We also had lunch at Applebees - a yummy treat.

We went to Kohl's and 2nd Avenue. I got new toasty warm gloves at Kohl's, and a pair of jeans, a pair of lounge pants, and two white shirts and a cream shirt at 2nd Avenue. In case you are unaware, 2nd Avenue is a thrift store. Yes, I was excited to go shopping at a thrift store. The prices are great, and I am reusing textiles.

My mom said she felt weird giving me thrift store clothes for my birthday, but I am quite pleased with my new found clothes.

Thanks a bunch Mom!

The G & B Restaurant

Tonight was great. Gary and I prepared a scrumptious meal for my parents' Christmas present. And since today is their anniversary, it was also an anniversary dinner. They have been married 38 years.

We served herb roast pork, mashed potatoes, a sweet potato (my dad's request,) green beans, salad with homemade dressing, applesauce, homemade bread, and homemade apple pie. We have a swinging door between our kitchen and dining room, so we shut it and pretended they were at a restaurant. Though, we joined them for the main coarse.

I had the table set beautifully, with my fancy folded napkins and used our more formal dinnerware and glassware. I had a great time.

We get to do it two more times, also. Tonight with Gary's mom and step-dad, except we are taking the meal to them, since Dan can't get out. And we still need to pick a date for Gary's dad and step-mom. Tonight is also Mom and Dan's anniversary, 22 years I think, so they get a Christmas and an anniversary dinner, too. Their dinner is the same as my parents'. We'll see if it turns out as well.

Recycling

If you remember me talking about the show "Living with Ed," you might also remember me saying that I would like to be able to do more of the stuff he talks about. But the funds are not readily available to me as they seem to be for him.

So, I do what I can. The easiest is recycling. To some recycling can be a nuisance in that you have to rinse/clean containers, sort, remove non-recyclable parts, or haul it yourself to a recycling place. I do not find this to be objectionable. I am glad to do my part. Our trash hauler, Ches-Mont, had only taken plastics 1 and 2, glass, and paper. The rest - plastics 3 - 7, paperboard, cardboard, Styrofoam, plastic lids, straws, small electronics and many other things - had to be hauled by yours truly to Pottstown.

Now I am here to announce that we are splitting trash service with our neighbor, who uses BFI. And low and behold they take cardboard, paperboard, and several more numbers of the plastics. I organized our current pile of extra recycling located inconveniently in the basement and now can take four bags of paperboard, one bag of plastics and a cat litter container to the trash can out back, instead of driving a distance to Pottstown. I am so excited.

Now instead of taking all that extra recycling to the basement, I can just put it in the bin in the kitchen with the regular recycling.

What's that about deodorant?

OK. So here it is. Armpits. Oh, excuse me - underarms. I have decided to include this subject on my blog, since this is a thing of my life. Now if you don't want to read about my dilemma with the above topic, than avert your eyes.

I am trying to replace personal care products as they run out with more natural ones. My latest foray into the all natural is Arm & Hammer Essentials and Tom's of Maine deodorant, hereto for known as AH and Tom's respectively.

First of all, I was told it is good to sweat (I'm undecided about that,) you just don't want the odor (definitely decided about that.) I determined to inform myself about underarm sweat - a lively topic - and learned a bit. If you'd like the experience, click to this article.

Whereas my knowledge already included the truth that most antiperspirants contain aluminum based compounds, and I don't want said chemical on my person, I wanted to try just a deodorant. Enter AH and Tom's. Both options in my bathroom are a clear stick version. My issue is that they are sticky feeling. I care not for that feeling. I have tried airing out the application location before donning my garments. I have tried putting on my garments immediately to wick away the feeling. I have tried applying less product. I have tried, but to no avail. I am accepting what is and hoping that once my skin adjusts to the new product, it will be more comfortable. I am not wasting what has been purchased but will not be purchasing these options for myself again.

The other issue is the non-antiperspirant aspect. I certainly do realize it is not present, however I am aware of the deodorant's ability to work. Let's go nature. I don't care for a wet feeling but care far less for an odor.

One thing I really like about both AH and Tom's is that the ingredients are listed on each product along with the reason it is in the product and from where it was derived.

Cable anyone?

This whole switch to digital signal instead of analog is a pain. We have a converter box, but it isn't working. It picks up no signal or a weak one, which translates to a black screen. At least if a signal was weak with analog you could still watch a program, even if it was a little snowy. The digital signal may have a better picture, but if there is any interruption, you get nothing. I disagree with all or nothing.

And cable, or FiOS, or satellite or whatever other options are out there are more than free.

I guess come February 17th, I'll be cutting back my TV watching even more. Actually I watch most of the shows online after they have aired, but soon I won't even have a choice if we can't get the converter box to work, or if it can't pick up a signal.

Really all natural?

The label says "all natural." Than what is that high fructose corn syrup and xanthan gum doing in there? You have to be wary about 'all natural' products, since the term 'natural' is not industry regulated, which means just about any company can stick the term on their labels regardless of whether all the ingredients are natural or not.

Check out this article.

Claire has a very good point in her comment. Try looking for local meat at Local Harvest.

I found a local farm that has eggs, chicken, pork, and beef. One stop shopping.

All Natural

I have been searching for meat that has no antibiotics or hormones or other such things that I do not want my family to consume. I know that a local meat place has natural pork, alas I could not always locate it in the markets. While on their website to find retailers, I came across this description on the care of their pigs.

Our humane and special care of animals is an important part of Leidy’s Nature’s Tradition. The American Humane Association has awarded us their Free Farmed Certification because we raise our pigs in a healthy, low stress environment where they are free to express their normal behavior. They are provided with proper facilities, fresh water, sufficient space, adequate shelter, and comfortable resting areas.

I thought it slightly humorous, especially the 'free to express their normal behavior' part.

After having watched over 10 episodes of "Living with Ed," my keenness for learning more about the environment has been renewed. I would like to get my masters in some form of environmental something. My first thought was energy conservation, but there are myriad options. However, I can not go back to school until my children are in school, and we have lots more money. I did have the notion that I could learn on my own and read, read, read.

I wish we had the money to do many of the larger scale things we saw on his show. A grey water watering system, solar panels, solar ovens, an electric bike and car (recharged by his solar panels,) recycled blue jean insulation, rain barrels, a remote turn-off-the-outlets-you-don't-need-on-while-you're-away system to name a few.

I can still do my part and save and conserve on a small scale. Everything helps.

TV, Games, and Food

We are here in Alexandria, staying up late, watching much TV, eating good food, and much to Georgia's consternation, not playing many games. [My new nickname for P is Georgia. It was George, but Gary said it should be a female name so there was no mistaking my female friend for a male one.]

And we discovered the show "Living with Ed" on her very fine new LCD HDTV. She set up her handy DVR to record the show whenever it was on. We ended up with over 30 episodes because there was a marathon.

Georgia also introduced us to "Farscape." Gary didn't care for it. I'll keep watching though. We also ventured an eye toward an episode of "Stargate Atlantis." We both liked that.

We had a delightful turkey meal, pizza with the pastor, delicious gourmet great northern bean soup, and tasty nachos. AND my delectable cookies.

Georgia blessed Gary and me with sleeping in. She took charge of the children each morning and didn't send them down to us until 9:00. Ellie usually awakens by 6:00, so this was a prodigious labor of love on her part. Especially when Ellie decided to put a choke hold on Josh one morning and strip them both naked another.

She gave Josh a pocket train and Ellie a purse with makeup for Christmas. The children were not far from their gifts. They took the precious effects with them wherever they went.

And the outcome of the games Georgia and I did get to play, turned out favorably for her. She managed to beat me at Phase Ten, Triominos, and Skip-bo. Her win in Uno Splash was questionable. At least she didn't get a chance to earn back her title in Scrabble yet.

Georgia is on a campaign to return back to a more proper use of the English language. So, when you lay your eyes upon words you might not recognize, it is my effort to support her in her crusade.

IVF is on hold until next month, due to them wanting me in for an appointment, while we're out of town. We leave for P's tonight.

Last time

We have begun the process for our last attempt at having a third child using IVF. We have only one embryo left, and the chances that our one little embryo survives the thawing process, starts to grow again, implants itself, and continues to grow is not as high as we'd like it. We are praying.

God will see us through whether I become pregnant or not.

Giggles and lights

The recent posts from Little Farm, Big World made me laugh several times. [I love the way my sister-in-law writes.] Ellie was in the room with me and each time I laughed, she asked me "Mommy, how you get your giggles out?" I love the way she thinks. She wanted to know what I was laughing at.

Ellie also asked me to put the up lights on for her. All of our candles in the windows are operated by switches this year, so that Ellie can turn them on. She likes this job. Today, though the train video is much more important, since she asked me to go put the up lights on so she wouldn't miss any train action. She wants me to go put the lights on upstairs.

Note: Some of my sentences (in this post and others) have incorrect grammar in them. I am aware of it. Although I don't like it when incorrect grammar is used, I am getting around that by informing you that I am using it. Sometimes sentences just sound better to me when written the wrong way.

Walking with Jesus

Today's devotion is titled Walking with Jesus. The passage is Luke 24:13-35.

A section of the commentary is "He's with you, walking alongside you. He hears your conversation; he watches what you do; he knows your heart. Jesus really cares. And he really does notice what you do - again and again and again.

I know as a wife and mom, I have the best job. I get to care for my family. That's my main priority, and I enjoy it. But in that roll, what I do sometimes is taken for granted and not noticed.
My son isn't going to come up and say "Thanks mom for getting that peanutbutter out of my hair. It was mighty sticky for me." He's only two. But he does take my cheeks in his hands and gives me a smile that lights up his face.

My daughter isn't going to stop me in the hall and say, "Thanks mom for washing the toothpaste out of my towel." But she does snuggle at bedtime and sing a duet of "Hush Little Baby" with me.
My husband isn't going to thank me for every single thing I do, (he wouldn't get to talk about anything else,) but he does thank me for some of it and helps out when he can. He also has a long list of house projects of his own that is woefully growing longer not shorter.

Each one of us desires praise for what we've accomplished. So, when I read today's devotion, I was blessed to be reminded that Jesus is walking with me and does notice what I do again and again and again. I don't need my children's or my husband's praise. I have Jesus.

What's going on

I haven't felt much like writing lately, especially since I haven't had many topics light in my head.

But here is something that has been niggling at me.

A friend from MOPS - her family, a Christain family - doesn't celebrate Christmas.

I asked her about it, and I just don't understand the basis. I just don't understand why they wouldn't celebrate the birth of our Savior.

I didn't understand, so I said to myself, Well let's just see what I can find out.

I found The Good News. I read about why December 25th is the wrong day for Jesus's birthday. I already knew that the Bible never really says when He was born, but this site gave me reasons. I did read that early Christains did not celebrate Christmas, but did observe a New Testament Passover.

In wanting more information, I continued my searching and found this one. Should a Christain celebrate Christmas? There is much to read here. It also gave a link to a site about hymns sung at Christmas, which opened a whole new set of questions about the scriptural validity of all hymns.

Another site I found is by Charles Halff, interestingly, a Jew. Although he is jewish, that is not why he doesn't celebrate Christmas.

This next site is quite interesting in that J. Hampton Keathley, III takes a look at both sides.

I could go on and on, but my eyes are hurting. I certainly understand now why my friend's family doesn't celebrate Christmas, but I am unsure of what all I read means for me.

If you want to keep reading, here's more information.

Sharing

Ellie and Josh have a nice system. She eats the inside of a grilled cheese, and he'll eat the crusts. He was still hungry after his hot dog, and Ellie had crusts on her plate. She doesn't care for crusts, so I told her to offer them to Josh. After nibbling off all the cheese part she could without breaching the crust part, she passed them over. He happily ate them.

This weekend was a wonderful Josh's birthday time. We arrived in Strasburg, Lancaster County before nightfall, but ensconced in a misty fog. [Even though the forecast was no moisture.] By the time we actually got to our campsite it was dark. The campground did have post lights for each campsite, which came in handy.

We weren't set up in record time, but it wasn't forever either. Since it was a rainy weekend we decided to put up the awning, even if we weren't really going to be outside, it would protect the door some. We forgot we still have to fix the legs and braces since they aren't working very well. We than had dinner, got settled in, and then packed ourselves back into the car.

We were off to find a Wal-Mart. We were only on the road for maybe a half hour when Gary asks if I remembered the heater. No, I forgot it. Since we definitely needed one for this weekend, we had to go buy one. While settling in, I found an electric cord for RVs that we never used or opened. So, we returned it and bought the heater and a few other things, without having to put out any money.

Sometime in the night the rain and wind picked up. The children thought that 4:00 AM was a good time to get up. We didn't think so. Gary on one end, me on the other, each with a kid. We got a little more sleep.


Saturday came with the predicted rain. We made our way to the Railroad Museum of Pennsylvania. It houses many train cars and engines, a few of which you can get on and look through.


We had a bathroom emergency, a fit and some screaming, but mostly cooperative children and good memories.

At the museum store, we bought Josh a wooden train whistle that enjoys hearing. And Gary was tickled pink, or black in his case, to receive with the purchase, a little wallet size card that has the different train whistle signals. For example when a train approaches a public at grade crossing (or simply put, a street crossing) it blows a long, long, short, and a sustained long signal.


Here are varies photos I took of our day at the museum.

And here's the birthday boy marching down the isle of a passenger train car.

The sun actually came out by the time we were done in the museum. While we ate lunch in the car, we could enjoy the sunshine for a bit.

We decided to take a ride on the Strasburg Railroad after lunch. It's a twenty minute ride through farmlands and then twenty minutes back.

It was a nice ride, and Ellie and Josh enjoyed it.

After our ride and while waiting to get a video of the train coming into the station, the clouds poured down the rain and winds blew sideways for 20 minutes. But it stopped the train came in and I got my footage. We made our way back to the car and as we got in the rain started again.

Sometime during the night there was a loud crash. With more agility than I knew Gary possessed, he jumped over me and out of bed. [He is on the outside edge of the slide out bed.] We both looked around, not so easy for me with no corrective lenses, and saw nothing that would have made such a noise. He checked outside. With what sight I did have without my glasses, I noticed the sky. The sky, which I shouldn't see if the awning is out. Gary looked up and saw no awning, save for two ends of the poles. The wind had picked up overnight and yanked the braces from their brackets and flung the awning onto the roof of the camper. We decided to just put the awning away and went back to bed.

Again the children were up early and again they were separated, so adults could get more sleep.

Today was beautiful and frigid. The heater was working nonstop. We lazed around the camper for the day. When we decided to pack up the kids had fun running around outside.

While driving home, we came across many more buggies than we had seen all weekend. Sunday is visiting day for the Amish. I wanted to get pictures but was more compelled to respect their wishes of not having photos taken of themselves.

We had a nice drive home across the countryside of PA. Gary and I used to do a lot of driving around the countryside before we were married. It was nice to do some country driving, especially to the soft snoring of sleeping children.

Choo-Choos here we come

Even with the forecast of a rainy weekend, we are going camping.

Monday is Josh's birthday so we are headed to Strasburg, PA for some train adventures.

In Sickness

I was in pain all day yesterday. My stomach was revolting the no food thing, but also revolted when it was confronted with food. The lemonade did nothing, but endear itself to me less and less. By the afternoon, my mouth would let none of it pass.

Gary and I had decided to end the diet at dinner, but I couldn't even wait that long. I made some squash soup and had some by 3:30. I actually thought that I would feel better. But I was so mistaken.

My twisting insides sent me to bed after Gary arrived home. [I stayed in bed for 10 hours.] This morning I had Cheeios. Lunch found me eating the soup again. I did notice that the pain, mercifully, did lessen after each meal, until finally I am typing pain free.

I am confident that it would take a serious event for me to try that diet again.

I will make one comment about the "smooth move" laxitive tea. It works. After my Wednesday experience, I doubt I will be trying the salt water colon cleanser anytime soon.

Tired Yet?

If you're like me and already tired of this cleansing diet, you might want to skip reading this post. My feelings won't be hurt.

Two more observations:

It would be far, far easier not to want to eat, if I was not preparing meals for Josh and Ellie.

A drink will never, ever be able to take the place of solid food.

Giving it another go?

Alright, I said to myself, you can do this.

Again, I am not eating, but drinking "lemonade." It's a far stretch to call it lemonade, by the way. I had breakfast at MOPS, because I knew that there would be yummy food there. I brought along my drink for after tasty food and have been partaking of untasty beverage since.

On Sunday, we had our friends over and J said that another of her friends did this cleansing thing, and had great results, nice skin, energy. That's what I'm hoping for, even if I sneak food a few times. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!

I can also say that it would do my body better if all this extra water I'm drinking would head to my somewhat dry skin instead of my bladder.

There is just something to be said for chewing your food.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On a completely different note, the kids and I ate our lunch in a fort on the living room floor. I loved making forts as a kid, and thought mine would too. Josh, not having the best balance and sense of propriety since only being two, nearly wrecked it a few times.

I'm not Cleansing!

Okay, my day's observations in chronological order.

There is not 4 TBSP of juice in the average lemon. I had to squeeze way more lemons than it called for.

I highly recommend taking Cayenne pepper tablets instead of putting the powder in the lemonade. Very nasty tasting. My first taste left me reeling and mixing a new batch with less Cayenne pepper. That still didn't work, but I drank half of it. A new batch with no Cayenne pepper isn't much better, just not burny.

The Cayenne pepper tablets are no better. Especially if taken at the end of drinking said beverage.

I want potato chips. I want chocolate. I want food! I do not want a glass of lemonade.

I had lasagna for dinner, along with too many potato chips. I felt a little sick with my food splurge. I also had M&Ms, popcorn, and two Carmel cremes.

I will not be continuing this "diet." If I ever try again, I need some serious resolve and a tongue with no taste buds.

Gary's experience has sent him to bed early with a serious headache and very sick to his stomach. But so far he is still resolved to follow through.

A Cleansing

Monday is the big day! For what, you ask? For the cleansing diet. I know you are on the edge of your seats just waiting to hear about it.

Gary heard about fasting to clean toxins from your body. The Master Cleanser was a suggestion. It involves lemons, pure maple syrup and Cayenne pepper. It is also known as the lemonade diet. It is designed to eliminate all sorts of toxins and yuck from within the body, with some help from laxative teas and a salt water drink. He read up on it, and I thought I'd give it a try also.

Ingredients (per glass:)
2 TBSP fresh squeezed lemon or lime juice (1/2 lemon)
2 TBSP pure maple syrup
1/10 tsp cayenne pepper (red) or to taste
water

Combine ingredients in glass (10 oz.) and fill with water.

So, we get to drink "lemonade" for ten days. I bought organic lemons and organic maple syrup. We have Cayenne pepper. It isn't a cheap diet.

Several concerns:
Can I not eat food for 10 days?
Will I like Cayenne pepper in my lemonade?
How exactly will the experience of eliminating all those toxins go?
How quickly and effectively does that salt water work?

Check in Monday night to see how's it's going.

If all this sounds fantastic to you, click here to see what you can get out of your system. [Or maybe wait 10 days first.]

Trying to make some money

I was a vendor at a craft fair this weekend. I made chocolate candy. Chocolate covered pretzels and raisins, peanut butter cups, and assorted shaped candies, a few with peanuts. I used milk and dark chocolate, white, green and red candy melts. The white, green, and red candy melts did not have a very nice melted consistency. They were much, much harder to use than the chocolate ones, and I had a few messes.

I also put out my prints and note cards from last year, the ones that never sold. My note cards sold better than I hoped. Last year I had them in packs of four. This year I had them all laid out individually.

To my way of thinking, if I sold anything, I'd do better than last year. I made over $70.00. Unfortunately, none of it was profit. It just paid for all my costs. Overall I did not enjoy the candy making process and do not care to repeat it. Although I have no problem eating leftovers.

I did get some help with my photography. The vendor next to me gave me the names of several websites where I could print my stuff for whole sale prices. She also gave me pointers. And other bonus was a young woman came by interested in a print that would go over her mantle. She liked two of my prints and wanted to know if they could be printed that large.

I looked into it and found that, yes, they could be printed that large. Now just need to figure out how much to charge.

Another opportunity has come from my sister. She knows a cafe owner who would be interested in displaying my photography. And on the first Friday of every month cafes will feature an artist's work. He said he might be interested in featuring my work! How exciting is that! And, it's a little intimidating.

A Family Day

Our family went down to Philly today for the Phillies parade. We started walking to the train station around 9:30. We were going to drive, but my mom called and said traffic was backed up way down main street. We decided to walk. My dad had his hair cut and was driving down our street, so he gave us ride the rest of the way.

When we got in sight of the station, we couldn't believe our eyes. It was packed. There were people everywhere. A mass of people on the train platforms waiting for a train and a long line coming out of the station waiting to buy tickets.

Officials had been saying to take mass transit to the city for the parade but SEPTA was not prepared for the amount of people who actually did so. They couldn't meet the demand and ended up telling people to find other transportation to the city. [The news reported that approximately 400,000 people used the subway system, up from an average of 150,000 people, and the Regional Rail system was used by about 300,000 people, up from a normal 130,000 people.]

As people started taking the find-other-transportation advice, the lines thinned out considerably. Amazingly in about 5 minutes, more than half the people left. We were undecided about what to do. A train was sitting on the tracks, and a woman was exclaiming not so nicely and not using my choice of words, that they were told to disembark so that us Phillies paraders could get on and go downtown. [Gary said that for some trains Lansdale is the end of the line and this train was probably one of those trains.] I thought we should wait and see if SEPTA would let those of us still there on the train.

They did. We even got seats. We were on our way. I believe that although our train was not express, we didn't stop on the way down to center city. There just wasn't any room for anyone else.

The streets of Philadelphia were wall to wall people along the parade route. The only way we could sort of see was looking through a subway glass enclosure. Since people were not right in front of us, we could see the tip top of the parade floats.

After the parade went by, we made our way to Reading Terminal Market for lunch. I think many others did as well. We did find a food establishment without much of a line. And we had a place to sit and eat. Not that the kids did much of that.

We headed back to Market Street station and discovered that they weren't even letting passengers down on the platform to get on a train. I asked where trains were before they came here. Gary said 30th Street Station. So we took the subway (for free - they were just herding people on) to 30th St. and made our way to the fairly unpacked platform. We got seats on the first train that came by. It stopped once letting people on to stand and headed out of the city.

When we started making stops to let people off, the stops were way longer than necessary. At Elkins park we were sitting for about 30 min. As I was looking out the windows, for what else is there to do besides stare at other passengers, I noticed a police car coming toward the parking lot. Than another and another and another. All the policeman walked toward the train. In all I think there were 6 police cars. There was no explanation to us passengers, though. We just started up again and went on our way.

After a 2 hour train ride that should have taken 61 minutes, we were finally in Lansdale. [I looked at the schedule and on a normal Friday, the train leaves 30th street station at 3:13 and leaves Lansdale at 4:14.] Our train ride was a slightly longer.

But hey, we were on a train.

THE PHILLIES WON THE WORLD SERIES!!!!!!!

Choo-choo

Josh has taken a fancy to trains. But in his little world they are strictly known as Choo-choos. For example, the other day Josh had taken several items and was lining them up one behind the other. Gary noticed and asked Josh if he was making a train. Josh said "mm-mm" (or however you spell his form of "no") and said "choo-choo."

Josh as also been introduced to the world of choo-choo videos. Now all he wants to see are videos of trains. He'll open the computer cabinet and point to the screen and say "choo-choo." It will entertain him for quite awhile, and Ellie too. They both sit here and watch train videos. I try to find the longest playing ones, since it keeps their attention so well. I have some peace while fixing dinner. We have to be careful though, because once Ellie found a video of a train wreck with people involved.

Here's one of my favorites due to length of time playing. It is also of steam engines, which I prefer over diesel.

What do you know

Gary and I would like to go camping one more time this year. Elk Neck State Park in Maryland is an option. It is in walking distance of a lighthouse, so I asked Ellie if she'd like to see a lighthouse. With the enthusiasm of a child asked if she wants candy, she said "YES!" She also excitedly asked Josh if he wanted to see one too. My next question was if she even knew what a lighthouse was. No, she said. I find it humorous that she is all excited about something she knows nothing about. Her next question was even better. She asked "Which houses light up?"

Her question made perfect sense to her.

PHILLIES!!

In case anyone is unaware, the Phillies start the World Series tonight. I am very excited.

The boxelder beetle.













The boxelder beetles all over our window.








We have five windows that face the afternoon sun. We have five windows crowded with boxelder beetles. They find it a very desirable place to be. It's like a little bug sauna. Yesterday I closed the storm windows in the downstairs windows. The windows with the sun were not for the faint of heart or fear of insects. As I pushed up the screen and pulled down the storm window, it rained beetles. Not kidding - at least twenty of the things were crawling around in there. I just left them alone and quick shut the window. They just want a place that's warm.

See video below to witness the beetles.

I forgot to include these photos in my array from our trip to Colorado. This is what you can see of the entrance to Cheyenne Mountain Complex, the home of StarGate Command from the TV series "Stargate SG-1." Since we were in Colorado Springs, we thought we'd try to see it. You can't really see it, but we got as close as legally possible by road. I could have scaled up the side of the mountain, risking life and imprisonment, but decided against that option.

A rake: $23.00

A pack of paper leaf bags: $1.99

Watching my son enjoy a pile of leaves: Priceless

To the untrained eye it might appear that Ellie is investigating a cabinet and surveying kitchen gadgets on a table.

But no.

She is actually looking for something in the refrigerator and deciding what needs to be done at the counter.

The mind of a child is a wonderful thing.

Remembering

I find it interesting how a smell can remind you of things long ago.

Today, we are having bagels (Lender's) for lunch, Ellie's idea. [Lender's onion bagels the best onion bagels, in my opinion, because the onions are in the bagel not just on it.] Every time I have them, I am reminded of a time when I was a young girl. My mother gave us, my brother and sister and I, bagels for lunch, and we ate them in the family room while we watched "Swiss Family Robinson." I sat against the couch, probably on a blanket, with my little metal lap tray. Of course, it was a Lender's onion bagel with cream cheese. I think that when I watch "Swiss Family Robinson" I remember having a bagel while I watched.

The sound of a wood thrush also brings along memories. This one is not of a specific time, but a place. My grandparents' cabin in the Poconos. I'd sit on the porch swing with Grandpop and just listen to the sounds of the woods - the different songbirds, the rustling of leaves as squirrels and chipmunks scurried about, the trees swaying and creaking. Sometimes I think you could even hear the motor boats on the lake. All precious memories to me.

Where could they be?

There was a very important question in our household that needed to be solved. And it was of great import that it be answered. Where are our rally towels?

Thursday night we rallied our Phillies to their victory using our rally towels. [I shook mine more than Gary did.] At the end of the game, we folded them nicely and placed them on the table to await the next game, Friday night at 8:22 PM. Sometime during the day on Friday, I realized they were missing. Gone. Vanished. It was nap time so I couldn't consult my daughter of their whereabouts, since she likes to "acquire" things to herself. We didn't find them.

We were resolved to watch our Phillies play Friday night without the support of the towels. They did win, however.

On Saturday I did some more looking. Upstairs, downstairs, in the basement, in all the little places a child might stick something. Nothing. Where in the world did they get to?

On Sunday I was really perplexed that they still hadn't turned up! Ellie was awake when I remembered they were still missing, so I asked about them. She said she put them in a bag to take to Aunt Sissy's house. That was no help, since the bags I looked in revealed no rally towels. I employed the children to help look through their toys more thoroughly, which they heartily agreed to, since it involved being able to empty the contents of the toy cabinet onto the floor. Especially great fun for Josh. Nothing. I was convinced that Ellie had a lot to do with their whereabouts, so I took another look into her things. I actually removed objects in bags instead of peering inside. And what to my wondering eyes should appear? Two rally towels waiting to be shaken in victory!

Unfortunately the Phillies outing on Sunday left all fans wondering how they ever even got to the NLCS. They couldn't hit a ball even if it was on a tee.

Now apparently they had a sound talking to, because last night Jimmy Rollins actually hit the ball and so did many other players, to take the Phillies to a win. Our rally towels were flying!

We might actually make it to the World Series.

I do have one comment: The 8:22 PM game times are really messing up our get to bed by 10:00 PM thing.

Oh yeah, one more thing: I am on the computer this morning due to MOPS stuff needing to be done, being up a little early, and Ellie having already eaten.

We aren't getting to bed at exactly 10:00, but we are doing way better than before. It's before 10:30, though. [Except for last night. If any of you follow baseball, than you'd know why. Our Fightin' Phils won the first game in the NLCS. Today's game is at 4:35, so bedtime won't be interrupted.]

My devotional time isn't happening every day in the morning, and I missed one day.

My computer time thing is going great. Interestingly, I get more done when I don't have kids underfoot. Who would have thought that! So, I get more done with less time spent on the computer. I'm practically giddy with all this extra time.

I am still reading the Shepherding book, and looking forward to implementing it's Biblical teachings. I still have to go through and memorize, or for right now, write down the Bible passages I want to use immediately. The two I am quoting to my children now are Ephesians 6:1 "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right," and Ephesians 4:32 "Be kind to one another." They need to know that I am not coming up with this, but it is from God.

I just love chocolate. Milk chocolate to be exact. My favorite is Hershey's. I don't care for dark chocolate, but it will do if that's all there is. And can white chocolate even be called chocolate? I don't think so. The U.S. FDA doesn't either.

Plain (dark) chocolate is made of cocoa powder, chocolate liquor, cocoa butter, and sugar. Milk chocolate, of course, has milk added. White chocolate is made of cocoa butter, milk, and sugar.

I don't like chocolate milk, though. But if you heat it, I'm there.

And many different chocolate covered things are tasty, too. Have you ever tried chocolate fondue?

I have to get me another KitKat, now. (I bought Halloween candy for me, not to give out.)

Gary and I are going to be more disciplined. At getting to bed by 10:00 pm, and reading our Bibles in the morning, for starters.

This past week we did quite well, with only one night closer to 11:00 than 10:00. The plan did not go as well over the weekend. I guess we tend to be more lenient with ourselves when there is a chance to sleep in. The earlier bedtime is key during the week, though. So we'll see how it goes.

The Bible reading is something I continually struggle with, especially being the mother of two preschoolers. Gary does better at it then I do.

[Speaking about sleeping in, we moved the clock radio to the opposite wall. We had it on the wall shared by Ellie's room. She'd hear it and wake up. The move has been helpful, since Ellie doesn't wake up as often now.]

My other discipline is using technology less, mostly the computer. I am on it way to much. I find the computer and Internet to very helpful tools. But like everything, too much of something isn't good. I turn the computer on before breakfast and sometimes spend the whole morning on it. Meanwhile the kids are getting into things, and I end up yelling at them. But really it's my fault, I wasn't watching them. So, I started my timeout from computers on Friday. I never turned it on, nor on Saturday. Not until tonight at dinner did we flip the switch. And once this baby was purring, I felt the call to check email, to check the Internet for something.

Really it's a problem. My plan is to not even turn it on until after lunch when the kids are napping, and then shut the cabinet doors once nap time is over. I may have to shut it down instead of just closing the cabinet doors, but we'll see.

It all started with the book I started reading, "Shepherding a Child's Heart," by Tedd Tripp. It was in the chapter about goals I have for my children. The main goal I should have for my children is that they glorify God and enjoy him forever. The other stuff comes when that goal is met. So, I starting thinking . . . do I glorify God in all areas of my life? Not hardly. I have become like the Israelites. Instead of forcing the Canaanites out like God told them to do, they lived among them. And they were influenced by them. They took up idols and turned from God. I have let things that are ungodly influence me.

So, back to computers. My computer has become an idol in my life. I hadn't really thought of it that way before typing this post, but it's true and hard to admit. I used to think that I never really had idols in my life. Obviously not a big golden statue. But anything, ANYTHING, that takes over God's place in my life is an idol.

And I want it to stop! There are other things that will be changing, too. But right now, that is the biggest.

What are your idols?

It has been nearly two weeks since Ellie started her Potty Chart. She receives a star each time she uses the toilet and has dry pants. A girl at church whom Ellie has taken a liking to made a chart to help her get over this wetting her pants thing.

Ellie is to get at least one star each day and at least three stars five days in one week. She has done fairly well. I believe it is working. In addition to receiving stars when she is dry, she receives negative consequences when she is wet. I try to make them very negative and severe. So far she has lost reading/rocky time at nap or bedtime, she's eaten by herself, she's lost her music at nap time, and she gets a ten minute timeout, while sitting in her wet pants. She also is in charge of cleaning herself up after she wets. I will not help her. Once we were out of plastic pants, so I made her put a diaper on herself. No pull-ups, they are too easy.

She isn't doing too bad.

"It is Well with my Soul" is one of my favorite hymns. It comforts me in times of sadness.

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Refrain:
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

I wrote this before I found out I wasn't pregnant, but I am posting it after.

Progesterone is something they have us IVF patients take. I don't like taking it. I won't go into why. But I thought I'd have a look-see as to what it does for me.

Progesterone-like steroid medication has a variety of effects on the immune system. This type of medication:

1. Blocks inflammation that can lead to scarring and damage to the placenta


2. Blocks the T cells and the B cells (lymphocytes) that can cause rejection of the placenta


3. Blocks the natural killer cells from releasing factors such as tumor necrosis factor (TNF) that can damage the placenta and the lining of the uterus


4. Prevents lymphocytes from wandering into the placenta, sticking there and doing damage


5. Causes an increase in hCG production by the placenta, and hCG and progesterone block the killing power of NK cells


6. Prevents prostaglandin production by the uterus and stops contractions from occurring


7. Causes the cervix to produce a cervical plug that is rich in antibodies, which prevent germs and viruses from gaining access to the baby and the placenta

Looks like I'll take the progesterone when they tell me. It's my little army in there getting the place ready.

Not happy about not being pregnant. I was very distraught yesterday and will be sad about it forever.

We are going to the cabin this afternoon. Besides home, it is my most favorite place to be. I wrote about the cabin in my very first post, click here and scroll to the bottom to read it. Wednesday, May 11th, 2005.

I an looking forward to being with my family at the cabin. Just the four of us. With no distractions.

I am not pregnant.

I am still enjoying catching a glimpse of my airbrush tattoo on my upper arm. I feel somehow empowered to have it. It is the Chinese symbol for Truth. I want two real tattoos. One where this one is now and one on the back of my neck. If I didn't have the ugliest spider veins on my legs, I'd want one on the side of my leg as well.

The one on my arm would be the Chinese symbol for Patience, reminding me to show patience in all I do, especially right now as a mother. The one on my neck would be the Greek letters for ixthus, ΙΧΘΥΣ, written inside the fish symbol. It identifies me as a Christian.

I - Iesus (Jesus)
X or CH - Christos (Christ)
TH - Theou (God)
U - Uios (Son)
S - Soter (Savior)

Well, that was a long explanation for me and my want of tattoos. And I didn't even get to the part about how my airbrush one got on my arm in the first place.

My dear friend P loves Sugarland. Although I like their music, I am not as big a fan as she is. And she just loves going to their concerts even though it is hazardous for her health. For some people, the crush of bodies jumping up and down, clapping furiously, singing at the top of their lungs, clamoring to see the stage is quite appealing. For me, it is not. But I accompanied her to the concert anyway. I went mostly for company with P and the before and after of the evening, than the actual concert itself, truth be told.

So this past Saturday found us at Trump Taj Mahal in Atlantic City. Before we entered the arena, we stopped off at the boardwalk and Steel Pier, walking up and down a bit taking in the sites, and eating much boardwalk food (the pizza being the best.) Along the way the sun went down and the wind was quite chilling. Even though I had on my new hip jacket, I froze myself to near Popsicle status. P was loving it. Next we went back to the hotel and checked out the gambling scene. Since most bets were eye popping high, and slot machines are a waste of money, we held onto our cash and headed to the arena. And P's legs were needing a break from all the walking we did.

The opening act for Sugarland could have stayed home in my opinion. Her music was fine, but her concert appearance was lacking. And people stood in line to meet her. I was a bit flummoxed by this. When Sugarland came on the stage, people stood up and then never sat down. That also flummoxed me. Didn't they get tired of standing? Apparently my head was at the right height to get hit no less than four times by the fan behind me. He stood, while I sat. He also consumed a few too many adult beverages. I didn't know they even sold them at concerts. I also believe the couple next to him was being a bit inappropriate for a public location.

Since we didn't care for Ashton Shepherd, we took the opportunity to look at Sugarland t-shirts. We each got one, and P says she lives in it when she's not in her work attire. She now has a rainbow collection of 5 Sugarland t-shirts.

P only had to use her two inhalers twice each and two cough pills. We didn't even need to visit the local hospital, though we took note of its location. Our ride home was interrupted by much traffic backup on the rode out. I decided to ignore Maggie, the GPS directions thing, and go around. P thought we needed to stay put, but I didn't and we saved at least 20 minutes. We also stopped off at the rest area to get some TCBY, but the time was late and the only place open was Burger King. So we got more greasy food and headed home.

Did I mention that the entire outing was wrapped in Sugarland music? Car rides included. However, so that I could sing too, we were allowed to listen to Chris Rice instead of Sugarland after a while on the way home.

I love you, P!

We've been having bank problems. Stupid us decided that we would open a Wachovia checking account to access our money while we were on vacation without any fees. [We hate paying bank fees.] We thought it a splendid idea, since we would be across the country and our regular bank is local. Mistake number one was thinking we would automatically get a check card. We had to do some last minute calling to get it before we left. Mistake number two was figuring it would be fairly easy to transfer money online. Mistake number three was not realizing we would be charged a fee to transfer money from a Wachovia account to a non-Wachovia account.

We had planned for Gary's boss (who also banks at Wachovia, so it would be one trip) to deposit Gary's paycheck into our Wachovia account, then we would transfer it into our Univest account via the internet. That would happen two times. What actually happened was no money was ever transfer and major fees were incurred when our scheduled payments went through at Univest and there was no money in our account to cover it. While Wachovia wanted about four days to process our request to transfer, our account went farther in the red. We ended up borrowing several hundred dollars from my aunt (still in PA,) who deposited it into our Univest account. When we realized what was going on, we asked her to pick up Gary's second check and deposit it right into our Univest account, but his boss had already taken it to Wachovia.

We also took out all that one is allowed to at an ATM and gave it to my mom to deposit when they got home, since they flew and would be home sooner than us.

We should have just stayed with our local bank, used an ATM when we needed and paid about a hundredth of the fees that we actually paid.

But the story has a part two.

We somehow managed to keep the bad bank history going. A friend of ours gave us a significant portion of the fee for IVF. She gave us a check. We deposited it. Well, would you know it bounces. Her funds were on hold because she used her debit card to rent a card. [She won't ever to that again, by the way.] So, she went to her bank and made a fuss. She told us that it was OK to redeposit the check, at least that was what I thought she said. But yet again the check bounced. Foolishly I believed the check would clear and already put the money towards the credit card bill. So again our account went in the red. We were told she'd give us cash this time around but have yet to receive it. We borrowed more money from my parents, enough I thought to cover everything that would need to be covered. But no, the stupid oil company decided to finally cash the check we gave them nearly three weeks ago, and I missed seeing it hadn't cleared yet. Red again. There it stays until Friday when Gary gets paid.

We really need to pay better attention.

And we will never do business with Wachovia again.

This morning while Ellie was taking care of her potty business, she informed me that when she puts food in her belly, it comes out in her diaper. I made a mental note to remember what she said, because I thought that was worth writing down.

Today was the embryo transfer. I dropped Ellie at preschool, Josh at Pam's, and met Gary at home to drive down to Abington. When we arrived back home, I plopped myself on the couch and stayed there the rest of the day. I watched the last three episodes of season three of "Doctor Who," part of two movies (the children came home, so I had to switched what I was watching and just haven't finished either yet.) We had Taco Bell for dinner. Oh yes and there was an apple that Ellie gnawed on for a bit, then was passed to Josh to eat. And since he was saving us the touble of taking the core to the compost bin, he decided to eat that too. He left no waste.

Gary took care of everything, while I got a free pass to sit on the couch. I did a little more TV watching, while children were put to bed, then I fell asleep while listening to the Phillies and while Gary talked with his mother, woke up around 11:30, and then up to bed.

Phillies won, but the Mets did too. We have one embryo left.

P.S. I am typing be-bopping to my music being played on my "new" MP3 player. My sister acquired a free iPod with her laptop purchase, so I acquired her MP3 player. Now I need new head phones. These old ones make my ears hurt.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Have you ever felt that you are playing house? I have.

And Gary and I have a house? How could we have a daughter and a son? We are too young. It doesn't seem like I could possibly be responsible for such things. I'm fresh out of college. (Yeah right about the college thing.)

But there it is, my house. With my children running around in the yard playing.

Lately I've thought on the word mommy. Over time it metamorphoses. It starts as ma ma, sometimes ma ma ma ma ma ma. Then becomes mommy. The next change is to mom. Sometimes mo-om, said with an impatient tone.

And with each new form of my name, I see my children grow and become more an individual. And if I keep thinking about it, as they grow up they also take tiny little steps away from me.

Ellie started preschool this week. She's there three days a week. My mind wanders to next year, kindergarten. She'll be gone every day. Then first grade will be every day, all day. I'm losing my little girl, what horrors will find her out in the world. Then I mentally slap myself and say she's here at home right in front of you, knock it off.

But really, I do wonder about her future, how I can keep her safe. What parent doesn't? But all I can do is pray and leave her in the loving hands of God.

I did some more searching and found this. All you need to know about "following" on blogger.

Happy Following!

I discovered today, among many other things, that one could be a follower of a blog. I apparently have two followers. I didn't know what that meant so I took a look. I don't actually know exactly what it means to be a follower, but I am guessing that the two people are reading what I'm writing and have let me know it by using this follower tool. I knew the one - my sister-in-law. But the other was a mystery to me. I wondered who could be checking up on my blog? It was guy, and I was a bit concerned.

With a little trepidation, I decided to click on the link to his blog to see who is following my blog. I started reading to discover who this fellow was. Reading the blog didn't help, except to learn that he likes coffee.

So, I looked at the list of blogs he likes. I found that he likes my friend, Jocelyn's blog, so I followed that link. I found that I haven't been to hers in a while, because she has a new, cool picture on it I haven't seen yet and posts I haven't read yet. And I found a link to her husband's blog. And what do you think I found?

The guy isn't a stranger at all. It's Sean, her husband. I imagine you are laughing by now, Sean and Jocelyn.

Now I have another blog to read. And I have to check out this follower thing.

I forgot that I didn't share this little fellow with you all.

He was on the wall outside the bathrooms at the KOA Kampground in Lawerence, KS. I think he might not have liked me shoving my camera in his face.

Hey - maybe he stole our camper keys.

Update: The miles are in. Check August 23rd entry for # miles traveled. Well, the actual number is lost to us, because of reseting both of the tachometer instead of remember to use the one to measure cumulative miles and the other to measure between fill ups. So, after many tedious minutes of adding and using google maps to retrave our treads, I figured out the total miles between locations, and not accounting for the traveling we did at each location.

I am thirty five, and I still like it when my skirt billows as I come down the stairs or flares out when I twirl or just simply swooshes as I move.

I found a skirt (for an economical price of $3.00,) and it has the swoosh and flare and billow effect that I like. I bough two of its friends for a dollar each, and they also are fun to wear. Now if I could only find jeans for an economical dollar.

Ellie also enjoys a good skirt twirl. She gets a little more energized about twirling than me, or maybe it's just her young balance, but she ends up on her bottom. Or like Sunday with her head smacking the cabinets.

Life after vacation.

Unpacking is such a bore. Most of it stays in the camper, but I still had several bags to address. Some weren't looked at until today.

The whole house needed to be cleaned. Tell me this . . . how does a house get so dirty when no one is living in it for 3 weeks? It looked like we were home the whole time. Dust bunnies skirting around chair legs. Toilet water growing stuff. Crumbs and other grit scattering the kitchen floor. The yard was a mess as well. The fellow who was suppose to mow never showed. Gary did a fine job with it Sunday.

Half of our mail went right into the recycle bin.

Independence

Josh has found his independence streak while eating. It is no longer acceptable for me to feed him. He had apple sauce today for lunch and insisted on feeding himself. He didn't care if he made a mess, he didn't have to clean it up. Currently he is flippin ghis plate around. Since it is entertaining him while I type, I am letting him. He can't any more of a mess, could he?

Ellie currently is licking her apple sauce off the table. It apparently landed there on it's trip from the container to her mouth.

I am abstaining from lunch until the kids go down for their naps. I'd like to eat in peace and quiet. I also plan to watch Dr. Who and/or post photos to my posts.