Falling apart?

I find it interesting that my best friend and I both think the other is a better friend.

Maybe that's what makes us a good friends?

I read her blog today.  I know, Myrtle.  SHOCKER! I'm not behind. 

Well, actually I read today's and finished the one before it. 

Myrtle lives with chronic disease.  Several in fact.  I one that rears its ugly head the most is dysautonomia.  (Even spell check doesn't recognize it.)  I usually don't know what to do or say to help her.  She's told me that just listening is good.  Or not seeing her as her illness.  Myrtle has referred to another blog (www.livingwithbob.com) written by another (Michelle) with dysautonomia, but I've only read what she has referenced.  Today I decided to go to the blog and read.  I came across this passage about stress and what constitutes giving up and falling apart:

Illness is stress. Chronic illness often means that stress will never fully go away. People aren't falling apart when their stress levels reach critical levels. They aren't giving up when they voice that stress and can't hold it all together. They are human beings, experiencing real and valid emotions to a prolonged highly stressful situation. We should not be jumping on them with judgements about giving up and the evil of falling apart, but offering them support, a place to voice their fears and sadness, and direction to appropriate mental health groups to help them navigate the complex and stressful world of chronic illness.

In my life, I relate most things to parenting. So for me, it's okay to fall apart in my parenting journey.  Michelle says, "There is strength in giving voice to the struggle."

I like that.

The boy with the broken arm, no more

Today, he's whole again.  The cast is off.  He's FREE!

It's been an interesting journey, this broken arm world.  A bit inconvenient, but not unworkable.

It was originally hard for Josh to deal with having his dominant arm in a cast past his elbow.  He felt like he couldn't do anything.

But he learned.  He adapted.  But he didn't really slow down.

Day 4

Today is Day 4 of summer vacation. 

It's been a long 4 days.  The three of us being home all day with each other is proving difficult. 

I was really looking forward to having the summer with my kids.  Last summer, we had the store, and I had a plan for where the kids would be for all 10 weeks.  By the end of summer last year, with the kids being gone one at a time or at camp or somewhere else, I felt like I had missed out of a lot with them. 

I didn't want that again.  Except after Monday and Tuesday, I wanted to ship them off. 

But not really.  I want to be with Josh and Ellie, I just want a lot less controversy and more cooperation and getting along. 

I am still looking forward to having the summer with my kids. 

The bathroom floor is gritty

It was also akin to a pond. 

Yesterday, the kids' job was to clean the bathroom sink.  They turned it into scrubbing the tile floor.

I asked what they were doing, they evaded the question and shut the door.  Since they are not the quietest children, and scrubbing isn't a silent activity, I already knew what they were doing.  And I peeked under the door and took a picture.

I let them go.  I did remind Ellie of the time, because she wasn't completely ready for school yet.

For half an hour they cleaned. 

At 8:30 I told them it was time to clean up.  Around 8:50 I hear Ellie frantically calling me from the bathroom.  She has just flushed the toilet.

I open the bathroom door.  And see water.  Covering half the floor.  Overflowing the toilet. 

I freak out. 

And then grab for towels.  Lots and lots of towels.  I ordered Ellie to get towels.  I ran around the house getting towels.  And the plunger.

And I start sopping up the water.  And incredulously demanding how all this water got on the floor?!?!

Josh got upset with my tone.  I got better control of it and ensured him I wasn't mad, just flabbergasted at the amount of water.  And both empty containers of cleaner.  About three cups of baking soda and borax.  And my homemade toilet fizzies on the floor. And the clogged toilet. Again.

And we were supposed to be walking to school, not sopping up gallons of water.  And unclogging a toilet.

Somehow I managed to get all the water wiped up, the toilet unclogged and the kids to school on time.

After school, the kids finished cleaning the floor, since while I did get the water sopped up, the copious amounts of baking soda/borax cleaner were still coating the floor. 

And although Ellie mopped the floor, I mopped the floor, josh vacuumed the floor and I vacuumed the floor, it is still gritty.

But it is clean and whiter.

Poor Lilly

On January 14th, Lilly completely tore her CCL.  Her knee ligament.




Josh made her comfortable the next morning.

And wrote her a get well card.

We took her to our vet.  A $3000 surgery.  I talked with my cousin, a vet.  We took her to another vet.  $2200 - 2500 surgery.

We decided to have the other vet do the surgery.  This past Monday.

Now she gets to wear a fun cone and lay around a lot.  Wait.  The laying around a lot is not new.

And Ellie wrote her a get well card. 

She goes back next week to have the stitches removed. 

And in case you were wondering, it's super fun to try and lift a 95 pound dog up and down four steps for her to do her business.  Thankfully she didn't take long to go down the steps herself.  And last night she went up by herself.  She doesn't care for the towel around her middle lifting option. 

And until she can walk on the knee well, she doesn't get to go upstairs at night.  So one of us has been sleeping downstairs with her. 

Not much

My friend is struggling mightily with losing who she used to be.

I struggle with whom I have never really become. 

My enemy

My enemy is not my children.  We are all fighting the same foe.