My imagination

I have this ability to make worse case scenarios with situations in which I find myself.  Take Gary not being home at his usual time.  I picture he's had an accident and is being rushed to the hospital and I am going to receive a call or visit from police telling me to get to the hospital, or a call that he's been killed in an accident and now I am a widow.  And now what am am I going to do?

It happened the day Josh was hit by a car.  While I was gathering the stuff we needed for our outing and hearing the kids play outside, I imagined Ellie running in to tell me Josh was hit by a car.  And I had to call Gary to tell him I was taking Josh to the ER. 

That time my scenario came true.

Right now my brain is at it again.  I am home with Ellie because she is has a fever.  It started Thursday night.  She was really hot, but I thought it was just from the heat.  But then Friday she was saying she didn't feel well, had a headache, and around dinner we took her temperature.  It was 102.8.  When we checked her before we went to bed, she felt much cooler and she was sweaty.  Saturday, still a headache and fever, though down two degrees.  And today, still she has a fever and doesn't feel well.

So where does my imagination run?  To cancer.  I imagine I will be taking her to the doctor's, they'll take blood, run tests and tell me she has stage 4 leukemia and not much time left.  She'll die and I'll feel like I failed her as a mother.  That I didn't get the chance to really be the mom she needed and I want to be.

I think I let my mind go there sometimes to prepare myself if ever they come true.  I wasn't a wreck when Ellie actually came running telling me that Josh was hit by a car. 

My friend

Here she is, my friend.  I have known her since 1995.  And yes, it's been a grand adventure!

Here we are in Atlantic City for a Sugarland concert.

Her beloved Italian GREEN moss.

 Sporting our Italian scarves in Fiesole, Italy.

We both love pizza.  We had all manner of pizzas in Italy.  And we did not think it possible, but one can get tired of eating pizza.

And in case you are wondering, pizza in Italy is different than American pizza.  The closest here I've encountered is a margharite pizza.  It has fresh mozzarella and basil.  One place we watched the chef make the pizza.  He had a bin of water next to him with the mozzarella in it.  The shredded kind you find in the grocery store . . . not at all the same.

I went with her when she got her tattoo.  I am still waiting to get mine.

We both love milk.  But we have different ideas of when it should be consumed.  I couldn't imagine not having milk with pasta.  She finds it disgusting.  The loving friend that I am, I made sure to send her this photo.

Josh and Ellie with Aunt Myrtle.  She adores these two.  And they love her back.

Her beloved Amos, the white fluff.  This is before he became the white fluff beast.  He is suppose to be a small dog, but he is twice the size of his parents.  He can reach onto counter tops.  His stretching ability is impressive. 

 

My sister friend.