I figured out my problem

Yes, I figured it out. I am a sinner. I know, astonishing but true. And even though I knew this fact, it was made much clearer (and humbling) in my reading of a little jewel of a book called When Sinners Say "I Do," by Dave Harvey.

I especially like the author's illustration about sin in our hearts: a hot engine and oil. He had a live experience with this when his son had started the lawnmower up with the oil cap loose. After the engine heated up, he had an oil geyser. "Original sin filled the "engine" of our hearts with the "oil" of depravity - dark, greasy, and staining everything it touches. Circumstances come along and heat the engine. When the engine is hot - when events in our lives test out hearts by stirring anger, lust, greed, etc. - whatever is in the engine spews out. The heat (circumstances) did not fill the engine with oil, it simply revealed what was in the engine." When Jesus, out best example, was heated up, love, mercy, compassion, kindness spilled out. What comes out when you're heated?

One thing I also like about the book is that even though it is written for married folks, the basis of the book applies to all people. Because married or not, we are all sinners and have relationships of all kinds that would do better when we remember we are the biggest sinner of them all.