Disheartened, but yet not

After hearing Sunday's sermon on the four and fifth commandment (Luther's third and fourth) at my church, I am convinced I need to find other teaching. But how to go about that. The church I want to go to is nearly an hour away. We only have one car and Gary teaches Sunday School, so he can't just up and attend somewhere else. I don't know how to get there. I thought about contacting the church and asking if there are any members who live near me and could give me a ride. But since I haven't actually stepped foot in the building yet, I think I should wait for that request.

I also know I won't be able to receive the Lord's Supper, since not a member of a confessional Lutheran church. The idea of closed confession at first was somewhat offensive to me. But since my opinion was uneducated and now is not, I have understand and am agree with it. A lot of things have changed about what I have believed being a Baptist, and what I believe from Luther's teaching - what I thought was the same between the two and what I now see is so different.

Tonight while preparing dinner, I was thinking on my plight as Myrtle calls it. When I am able to attend the Lutheran church, I want to take in the Lord's supper. It crossed my mine to contact that pastor and make my Lutheran confession so I could join them. Before Myrtle made her confession, she had written about her intense desire to take in the body and blood of Christ. I never understood it until today. I can't even explain it, because I freely partake of communion at my church. But today I had an intense desire unknown to me. Of course it is God wanting to do for me that which I have always done for him.

It also might have to do with having been blessed at the church we went to at Myrtle's. That was a blessing indeed. I also took in the Lord's Supper at the Ash Wednesday service I attended at a local non-confessional Lutheran Church. I made it a point to find a Lutheran Church that did the Imposition of Ashes. I wanted that outward sign. At the service, they had open communion. I called and asked if it was closed or open the day before. The lady I spoke with said it was open, I just needed to fill out a form with the name of my home church. I complied and went forward at the appropriate time. I don't know if it was the appropriate thing to do or not.

Now back to the confessing comment. It wouldn't be just a ruse to get to the alter. Though I seriously doubt I am ready for it either. Though, I don't think I have to know it all to confess, just know that I want to know it? See, I still have a lot to learn and study.

That also is an issue. How do I go about doing that? Just start reading and studying the Book of Concord? How does a car-less Baptist make her way to a Confessional Lutheran Church? And what about my husband who hasn't seen the difference but is somewhat open-minded to the teaching?

I am yours, save me!