The following is an email from my husband about his experience going to Quest Diagnostics.

I write this letter to you not with much elation and lack of fear, but with much of a sense of overwhelming relief. It seems that I was indeed in fear of my life being extinguished this morning, alas before I could even complete the task with which I had set out to complete. Apparently one is able, via the “internet”, to make an appointment with one Quest Diagnostics with such a sheer amount of ease it is truly astounding that one would not use such a service. Also quite amazing, is the immense number of the population that chooses not use this service. It is again apparent that this same multitude will resort to intimidation and threats to discourage others to use this service.

And such was my fate this beautiful morning when I visited this Quest Diagnostics. I came upon this multitude of advanced years, some of whom had been waiting for over 35 minutes, when my name was called after a mere wait of only 3 minutes. The woman who called out my name to the crowd, thus knowing I was numbered among them, graciously used my surname and only the first initial of my family name. Obviously, she had knowledge of the capabilities of the restless multitude and wanted to spare my person possible future retaliation for my thoughtfulness.

Amidst grumbling and fervor of sharp comments directed to me, I quickly and quietly completed the pre-test procedure. After I slinked off to perform my test, I dashed through a storm of daggers thrown at me as I darted through the room of waiting to the vestibule of safety.

Perhaps if I am required to visit this Quest Diagnostics again, I could instill fear into the crowd itself by not appearing to be prepared to withstand a long stay, and surprise them with my confidence as I uphold my convictions of a short wait.