Does anyone want a cat? We have one that I would pay someone to take. I am quite tired of her going to the bathroom else wheres than in her litter box. And while I was gone, she took to throwing up. Six times on our bed, twice in the living room, and twice in the upstairs hallway. Both cats are banned from bedrooms for a while.

I am afraid to say it, but I wonder if she might benefit from some of the techniques used on children. I don't really feel like giving her the time of day, but I don't really want to be cleaning up any more messes.

What does she need that we aren't giving her? I don't really want to find out. I'd rather get a dog.

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Today at MOPS a man spoke about anger, and he opened my eyes to my anger issues.

Why am I so angry at my daughter sometimes? And why does it seem to burst out of me? He said that some people have simmering anger. I don't want to admit it, but I think that's me. He also posed this question - What might be the issues that lead you to have simmering anger as a default setting? I still can't answer it. But I need to.

Another question to think about - Do I have a good reason to be angry? During his talk he spoke about Jonah. Jonah was angry with God and never really settled that. He didn't want God to forgive the people of Nineveh, and so he ran away. And after being spat upon the sand, he drug his feet all the way to Nineveh to tell them about God's impending wrath if there was no repentance, and Jonah continued to be angry when God forgave them. Jonah did not have a good reason to be angry.

I need to understand my anger to rid myself of it.

In my visit with my friend P, she has helped me see how I can better handle my daughter's fits and tantrums. Realizing what her personality is and working with it, instead of forcing my will on her will go a long way. E wants a measure of control, which I can give her. Of course she can not be in total control, because that would just make for an unsafe and destructive environment.

An example, is binkies at nap and bed time. I'd like her to only have one, but does the world come crashing down if she has two? [P started that, by the way. She was fine with one before our visit. But what are aunts for, but spoiling and such?] And I will definitely take my cue from P about eating. E has lately gone hungry at many meals, because she simply won't eat or would sit there all night before she finished. Try one bite, P says. Than, try another bite. And bite by bite her meal is gone or close to it. I have recently also implemented another method where you tell your child to eat a certain number of bites, like you need to eat three more bites of green beans and two more bites of ham. This number method works much better than just saying you need to eat more green beans and ham. They want concrete not arbitrary. I need to remember this in other areas.

I have said how E is a little helper. An example of this is how she felt that J needed his diaper changed. She dragged him over to where she had set up the changing pad. She took his pants and socks off, unsnapped his onesie, and took off his diaper. She got out the wipes and a clean diaper. She wiped off his little parts, than lovingly used that same wipe to dry his tears (much to my dismay, but I let her go, thinking it wouldn't really hurt him.) I did tell her that she shouldn't use a wipe on his eyes, because it might hurt them. Well, little brain that she is, tested the wipe on her own eyes and feeling no pain continued to wipe J's eyes. Again I told her, and again she tested. I had to take the wipe from her. Then she put on a clean diaper and snapped his onesie. In the process of snapping, she felt he had a poopy, so she undid the snaps and wanted to change his diaper again. I told her he was still clean, and we got him back together again. All the while, P is video taping.

I am so thankful for P's insight into the whys of my daughter. Now, if she could only help me with the issues of our cat.

I do so enjoy spending time with my best friend P. She is always open for a visit. We talk and share, watch movies, play games (we are lax in this area right now,) and take care of my kids. We used to do a whole lot of each of the former three things on this list, but with the addition of my kids to the list, the former things have all been cut back. Taking care of kids is a time warp activity.

Even going out has been a task in itself. We had a grand list to tackle on Thursday. But going out twice, the list is still not finished. Really, the best time to go out is in the morning, because afternoon is nap time. But getting ready to leave with plenty of time to complete anything by lunch is near impossible, as P and I well know, since we still have a few stores to get to.

Getting to these stores is important. My husband and I are helping P out with purchasing her everyday needs, since her unemployment has been looming and weighing heavy on her heart. We have been blessed, so we want to pass it on to our friend. After all she has always been generous to us. Whenever we would visit, P would generously share with us. Now we can be generous back.

She continues to be generous to me, even if it isn't monetary. She thought of me and my children in her preparations for our coming - what we might like to eat and do, which games we might play. She thoroughly cleaned her house for our impending visit, staying up way to late to do it. She washed all linens that might touch our fair skin, she vacuumed and mopped her floors to their cleanest shine, she scrubbed the bathrooms free of all insects, dust and grime. Her floors are as clean as it's ever been. It's her way of saying "I love you."

One of her biggest "I love yous" is her willingness to change a long string of wet and dirty diapers. I have no problem letting her change any diaper that needs changing. I find that task to be a stinky one that I just as soon pass off to another. Her latest "I love you" is giving me a chance to take a nap this morning. When I came up from our basement home away from home, there was a note in her beautiful script telling me to wake her after I finished nursing my son. She would watch the bobbins so I could go back to sleep. And really, what more could a sick mother of two small children, who's been sleep deprived, want? Besides a back rub. But hey, she's done that too!

This morning was better. Getting E to bed at a decent time and spending quality time doing so, I think, were key. When I laid her down to sleep, she hardly fussed or cried. I also think she didn't take long to fall asleep, which is also key.

And guess what! She didn't wake up until 7:45. I got to sleep in, sort of. For some reason, J still decided to awake early. He thought he would have a snack at 4:30, than breakfast at 7:30. I even tried taking him upstairs for breakfast, but E still woke up. So I got a little more sleep, but it would also behoove me to get to bed earlier. Though it is hard when the time P and I have while children are sleeping is precious little. We end up staying up way too late for having to get a 2 and a half year old and a 3 month old ready in the morning.

P introduced me to a new game late last night - Up For Grabs. I think she planned it so I would be too tired to play, because I didn't do too well, which didn't sit very well with me. I definitely do NOT like losing.

I am not getting as much sleep as I had hoped to on this vacation trip to my friend's. Apparently my daughter does not sleep well in her basement guest room. It is taking her way too long to fall asleep, and she is not sleeping as long in the morning. So, we are not getting the sleep we need, causing us both to be a bit irritable.

I was especially irritable this morning, when again both children woke at 6:15. After feeding my son, my daughter wanted to be in the pack-n-play. I reminded her that she wasn't getting out for while. She wanted to stay put. So, for an hour I tried to sleep, while hearing my daughter fussing and crying.

I had quite enough of it and spoke out of frustration when she wanted to get down off the bed. I told her I didn't care what she did, she could go play with knives. She responded very seriously, "They are dangerous. No play." I know, I know. Those words should never have been thought, let alone left my lips. My daughter's words diffused my ire. I took her in my arms, apologized, told her she was right and that I didn't mean what I said. I got up, and we came upstairs.

Last night P had some good words of wisdom about dealing with E's strong will. And not seven hours later, her words are lost and my frustration takes hold. I continually fail at keeping my frustration from getting in the way of disciplining my daughter.

I spent Wednesday on the move. I originally planned to leave for my best friend P's house soon after breakfast. That changed to right after lunch when I remembered that on the third Wednesdays of every month is MOTS, and I am working in childcare. I took off three months due to the birth of my son, and now it's time to start up again.

I also realized that my tooth which had a crown put on a few weeks ago just wasn't feeling any better, so I called the dentist. With the morning already full, my only option was the afternoon. They had a 1:00 appointment. My husband was coming home to eat lunch with us before we left, but he ended up watching the kids for me while I visited the dentist instead.

And to top it all off, I really wasn't packed. I had wanted to pack early, but that didn't happen. I kid myself all the time when it comes to time factors. While packing the car, it was made more real to me that a Honda Civic is really not the car for a family of four. (I had that car packed to the top, and my husband wasn't even coming.)

I didn't actually leave until 4:00. I had to stop twice - a crying episode through Wawa with my daughter, and a feeding session with my son. We finally arrived a little after 8:00. Traffic matters didn't help much either.

But we are finally safe and sound in her comfortable cozy home.

This morning I made for the second time Malt-O-Meal hot wheat cereal for breakfast. But unlike previously, I only made one serving. Tried as I might, I could not consume my bowl full. Even while cooking it, I thought the smell of it was a bit too much for me. My daughter, however ate her bowl clean. This morning she pulled the box out of the cabinet and requested it for breakfast. I was happy to oblige her and made her a bowl. She is currently eating it. I am having Corn Chex.

My friend P loves the stuff. I thought about mailing her the box, because she has been unable to find it in stores near her. It was because of her I put the box in my cart, when I came across it at the grocery store. I thought I'd try it. But because my daughter likes it ans even requests it, I will keep the opened box and buy a new one for my friend for next time I see her. I'll stick with Cream of Wheat. (Yes, there is a difference.)

My husband and I didn't really do much for Valentine's Day. We wished each other "Happy Valentine's Day!" but there were no exchange of gifts or cards. We did however get a night out the Saturday before 2-14-07 instead.

Our church sponsored a MOPS and Pops night out. It was for our MOPS moms and their spouses and other members of church who wanted to participate. We signed right up. My mom signed up to babysit. The evening babysitting was from 6-9:30. My mom came over early, so we could have more time together. Then she took the kids to church for us.

I had mentioned to G that I didn't expect him to come up with romantic outings on his own, but he could go on line to get some instead. Apparently he did. He planned our evening as a surprise for me. I love surprises. I was to pick a number, and he would start driving. As we drove we counted restaurants. We would stop and eat at the restaurant corresponding to the number I picked. Since we had some standards, I did change my number to a higher one once. Another idea he found was to find an historic area tour for a date. For some this may be boring, but not for us. My husband found Graeme Park, home of the only colonial home of a Governor still standing. They were holding Valentine's Day tours on Saturday night. My husband reserved us two spots.

It was a nice tour. The house was quite lovely and we saw it by candle and flash light, and in the words of our tour guide, "Much the way it would have been in the 1700s." (You know, with no electricity - except for the very bright spot light illuminating the entire side of the house.) Interestingly, even though the house is hailed as "the only surviving residence of a Colonial Pennsylvania Governor," our tour informed us not about the governor, but about Elizabeth Graeme Fergusson, whose father acquired the house sometime after the Governor Keith lived there.

The tour was a play of sorts. We were invited into glimpses of Elizabeth's life from a young girl through to her later adult life. We saw her as a young girl in love with William Franklin, Ben Franklin's son. This match was looked down upon by her father and other folks close to her family. We saw her accept a marriage proposal by William anyway. But with him going away to school, they would wait to wed until his return. Their marriage never came to be, for when William did return to the states he came with a bride. She wed Henry Hugh Fergusson much later in life. That turned out to be a sorry match, for he was a Tory and had an illegitimate child while married to Elizabeth. With her husband's traitorous ways, Elizabeth lost her house, but was allowed to live there provided she pay rent. I think she reclaimed ownership several years later, but I'm not sure.

The actors did rather well, especially the teens. In fact they did better than some of the adults. There was a scene where two men portrayed an officer in the army and a family friend. They used common language from the present, words and phrases that I am quite sure were not used in the 1700s. I didn't like that. If they are portraying the 1700s, than speak like they did, not they way do now.

When we got back to the visitor's center, there were snackies and some hot chocolate. We both took advantage of the food and warm drink to help warm our cold bodies (the house wasn't really heated, and it was a cold evening.)

Our tour was over and we still had time before we had to pick up the kids. So, we headed over to Borders. We wandered through the store, perusing books and stopped off at the cafe for some coffee (G) and iced tea (me).

We had a very nice date night together.

At least three weeks ago, I managed to gather, sort, wash, dry, fold, and put away laundry in one day. It doesn’t happen often, believe me, so it’s worth mentioning. Last week I had to take down laundry from the week before so I could hang the newly washed clothes.

Let’s see . . . what else. Usually what prompts me to clean the tub is not wanting my children to bathe in crud. (My husband and I don’t count, because we just stand in the tub. Actually, my daughter usually stands throughout her time in the tub, but that’s a different story.) And I don’t even want to think about how I am going to keep the toilets clean enough to let my daughter near them for potty training. She doesn’t seem to realize the importance of NOT touching a toilet anywhere but the lid and the flusher.

My girl is very helpful around the house. E likes to help me vacuum. We have a canister vacuum, and she likes to sit on it like it’s a horse. She also helps by pushing the button to retract the cord. She thinks it’s great fun.

She likes to dust with me. She pushes the “on” button for the dryer, turns on the water when I am ready to use the sink. E will help set the table and then help clean it off. She hangs up her coat and puts away her hat, scarf, and mittens.

She also helps with her brother. She picks out his clothes, helps hook him into his car seat and helps unhook him. She is his binkie bearer, fetching it form him and making sure it is safe to suck, by sucking it first. (She is even thoughtful enough to suck it in secret so his doesn’t get jealous.)

My girl is a great help for me, and I enjoy teaching her. It teaches me patients.

I believe that God has called us to be good stewards of our Earth. I also believe that most people fall seriously short of fulfilling this command, including Christians. There are so many things one can do to help our environment.

Recycle, reuse, and cut back.
Put trash in one container, paper in one container and plastic, glass, and steel into another container. Compost food and yard waste.

Use cloth bags at the store or reuse old plastic bags. Don’t throw out “disposable” containers, wash them. Use washcloths or towels instead of paper towels.

Turn off lights not used. Use energy saving appliances and light bulbs. Hang clothes instead of using a dryer. Keep the thermostat at a lower temperature and put on more clothes.

These are just some ideas among the myriad ways one can be a good steward.

I feel overwhelmed. I feel stuck. I can't seem to accomplish much in one day, but clothe, feed, change, and clean up after my children. Some people say that's OK. Raising your children is the most important thing. But it isn't the only thing I have to do in a day.

There are piles of dirty clothes surrounding my washing machine, crusty dishes abounding on my counter and in my sink, who knows what's growing in our toilets, the poor plants are wilting away, dust and cat hair swirl around on the wood floor, every surface is cluttered with papers, projects are left half done, MOPPETS paperwork is yet to be finished, Creative Memories calls are not made, my Bible sits upon my shelf, my blog remains lonely. The list goes on and on.

But God is good and continues to bless me even while my home is left unkempt. In the middle of writing this, I received a call from a friend (also a mother of two) from church and MOPS. She gave me encouragement. She made me smile.

She mentioned that she loses her joy sometimes. I thought on that and wondered if I have lost my joy. Maybe I have, but I did not realize it.

In thinking about joy, I know I saw it today in the smile of my daughter as we sat looking at ourselves in the mirror. I heard it in the giggle of my son, as I played and talked with him. I savor the feel of my daughter's arms hugging me tight, and the cuddle of my son's cheek against my own. I smile at the antics of my daughter in her animated play, and the constant pumping motion of my son's arms and legs. (If one could harness his little bouts of energy, it could probably power an appliance in my house.)

I still have joy as a mother. I just forget it sometimes and need to be reminded. I know all the other things are not as important as my children, but I do think I need to find a balance between the two.