For the past several weeks, every day is a struggle for me. I get so frustrated with my daughter. She is constantly doing what I tell her not to do. Not often does she follow directions the first time and without threat of punishment. I know she is only two (almost), but it still seems that she should be able to follow simple directions. The times are definitely terrible.

I tell myself that I have to be patient and guide her through her tantrums. But I find that all I want to do is spank her severely and put her away in her crib. I am trying not to spank her, because I really don't want to hit her, but timeouts aren't all that effective right now. Nothing is.

I wonder, why can't she play with her own toys, she has enough of them. But no, she has to play with everything else, making a mess. Which of course I end up cleaning up. She helps because I tell her she needs to clean up after herself, but face it, a two year old just doesn't clean up as well as an adult. I end up doing the brunt of the work. Why can't she just obey?

And being pregnant doesn't help. I am extra tired, my back and legs ache much of the time, and I am more emotional, which is why I am probably so frustrated all the time. I am just plain tired of repeating myself and being ignored. I long for the time when she is asleep, or my husband or family member watches her. Caring for her is very draining.

But still I love her and can't imagine not having her here. I know it will get better, and she will be more obedient as she gets older. I continually pray for God's guidance.